(Closed) disappointed

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
3063 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I don’t think his intention was to stomp on your enthusiasm. To me it just sounds like he’s stressed out about hearing from his job and doesn’t care to discuss plans for a vacation he doesn’t know he’ll be able to take yet. What if he gets all excited and then finds out he can’t take it? That would be twice as disappointing for both of you when you have all these fun ideas for a vacation.

 He’s aware you’d like to take a vacation so bringing it up too much will just seem like you’re pressuring him and aren’t being empathetic to his uncertain situation, which will make him defensive. I am sure once he feels more stable and secure workwise he’ll be more open to talking about it.

Post # 4
Member
3799 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

My Fiance does this occasionally. I”ll bring up something fun I want us to do, and if he is stressed out about something else, he will snap and tell me he can’t think about it right now and shut me down. Eventually, once the rough patch clears up, he usually comes to me and says that he is ready to do what I suggested. I just can’t bombard him if he is worried about something. Don’t feel guilty. Let him get past his mood and then try talking about it.

Post # 5
Member
1048 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I would probably be thinking the same way if I didn’t have a job. When I get a new job, vacation is the last of my thoughts, because each company is different and I wouldn’t want to assume anything about vacation time. Trying to plan a vacation without a job would just further my stress because all it would do is remind me that I don’t actually have a job.

It’s not totally rational, but that’s probably his thought process too.  I would just lay low on the vacation front for a bit.

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