(Closed) Disappointed

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
3302 posts
Sugar bee

Sorry they have treated you both like this but like you said yourself, your expectations aren’t too high of them. Continue with that thought, ignore them when they want to get together and move on with life. *hugs*

Post # 4
Member
1691 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

They suck. I’m sorry. Be thankful your love knows they do as well! Good luck with them, it’s hard to always take the high road when you really just want to tell someone to go fuck themselves.

Post # 5
Member
7759 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I feel your pain. My father travels 1+ hour away every weekend and I rarely see him. I agree with you that they being unreasonable about Thanksgiving and I deal with similar things.

But, I kind of agree with them about the christening. The christening is about the child and the child is unrelated to them. I belong to a church which doesn’t do christenings, so I was surprised at how important you thought it was to be a godparent, and evidently your in-laws feel the same way. I would let the christening go, and save indignation for when they’re not seeing their own family’s events.

Post # 6
Member
1691 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@paula1248:  I don’t think it matters if it’s a big deal to them about the christening, if they know that it’s a big deal to HIM.

Post # 7
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I understand where you’re coming from. My family is exactly the same as your in-laws.

Hypocritical guilt trips whenever they can fit them in between “their time” although remember that we are the selfish ones because we’re always going out and they never get to go anywhere or come to see them.

 

I feel for you, I really do and it’s such a hard situation to deal with. It’s easy to say forget about them and cut them out of your lives because it will make it easier but really…it’s never that simple.

 

I have been living with this kind of treatment my entire life and all I can say to you is as you become stronger…you learn to deal with it without getting too upset. Sure there will be things like today with the godparents thing but really, you don’t want them to be there, it would only make thins worse.

Focus on the fact that you’re becoming a god mother, your husband a godfather and the fact that you are two happy people. Something which your inlaws are too bitter to be.

 

🙂

 

 

Post # 9
Member
30 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Wow this must be hard to deal with.  I know their behavior and attitude does  not  help but you can’t do anything to amend the scenarios they create.  You are doing your part by trying to have a good relationship with them. If they want to blow everyone off because things are not done at their convenience they need STFU. I know a lot of us on this web community would not have the guts to say something like that to our ILs but they sound very hard to please. 

Post # 10
Member
143 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

Sounds like you are a good person who is trying hard to create a sense of family among a variety of folks, and I think that’s honorable. The weird visiting thing sounds strange to me – but like other posters I think the christening/godparent reaction could be a separate, possibly unrelated thing. Maybe in their family being a godparent is not a big deal, and they do not see how it could mean as much as it clearly does to you? To be honest if someone told me they were becoming a godparent I would have pretty much the same reaction your ILs did. I don’t know if it’s because I’m not religious or because I don’t even remember who one of my godparents is and met her maybe once growing up (the other one is my uncle who lives 10 hrs away and I see once or twice a year). Other people’s emotional reactions can be hard to deal with, but I think you do have to pick your battles here. Best wishes to you and your husband.

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