(Closed) Disappointed about my wedding now

posted 6 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
1401 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@Deshong8:  Oh sweetie, don’t sweat it. If you poured as much TLC into your day as it sounds like you did, your guests will have seen that and felt really loved and impressed, cake or no. Personally, I don’t even like wedding cake and wouldn’t have even noticed. Enjoy your honeymoon and your husband! You did your very best to make sure that your guests were looked after, and stressing about how people messed things up won’t make things any better. Nobody will remember the cake–they’ll remember that you and your husband got married! 

Post # 4
13248 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

As much as it sucks to learn some details didn’t play out perfectly, you can’t stress over things that have already happened.  You had a great wedding, so remember that! 

Post # 5
2934 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

I think some of this is the normal let-down after a huge event that you spent so much time planning for. I also think it’s normal to focus that let-down on whatever didn’t go perfectly. But you have to accept that if it hadn’t been the cake/dessert, it would have been something else — with an event as big as a wedding, SOME THINGS go wrong. This wasn’t a huge deal. Maybe make a list of terrible things that COULD have happened… someone in the bridal party could have been in an accident on the way to the wedding, a family member could have died, your Fiance could have been rushed to the hospital, everyone could have got food poisoning and spent the wedding vomiting… In the grand scheme of things, your “wedding oops” was minor. Focus on that and be grateful for all the things that were beautiful and wonderful.

Post # 6
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

I’m sure you’re the only one still thinking about the dessert situation. Your guests were there to celebrate your marriage. That’s all that’s important. Congrats! 

Post # 7
4336 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

don’t worry about it! I haven’t gotten dessert at at least one wedding I’ve been to, and it’s really not a big deal! 

Post # 8
191 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Wow, I’ve been struggling with similar feelings and can relate.  After our wedding I was on cloud 9 and felt that everything was PERFECT (hubby agreed)…but then when we started to compare notes we realized several things went wrong that I hadn’t noticed – they didn’t cue the bridal music properly when my dad and I walked down the aisle…so we actually walked to the same music as my husband and his mom.

I was so “in the moment” that I didn’t even notice what music the violinist was playing or whether or not people were standing.  The recepton venue also forgot to pour champagne for our guests for the toast…something else I didn’t notice until after the fact.  Oh, and my fiance in his nervousness didn’t put his cuff links on properly so his shirt sleeves are sticking out of his jacket oddly in the ceremony pictures. I fixed this for him as soon as the ceremony was over.

Overall, we had an AMAZING time and so did our guests, but part of me keeps replaying the things that didn’t go as planned and kicking myself for not managing the details a bit better…ugh.  I think we have to just let it go and focus on having successfully made it to the other side of wedding planning 🙂

Post # 9
5885 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

My flowers were the wrong color–I was so pissed I couldn’t sleep for a few nights. I was upset for months and tried to get over it. I logically knew it was stupid, but I couldn’t let it go. Then I gave myself permission to just be upset and not worry about getting over it. It’s how I feel, logical or not. Once I did that, the searing pain started to fade. Dont get me wrong, 2 years later I still will have random rants about the wrong colored flowers, but it passes and doesnt hurt much(and that only happens 1-2 a year). I can even laugh about it know.


Give yourself permission to just be upset for as long as you need to.

Post # 10
298 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012 - Prairie Production- Chicago (loft)

I too thought everything was perfect- but the DJ screwed up our music… and we found out that the video people we hired have no idea what they are doing. My flowers look too big in the pictures….and since it was Halloween weekend I found that parking was a nightmare for some guests due to nearby parties downtown…. Anyways I’ve learned to let it go…. things cannot be changed and if I let it bother me forever I will go nuts!!! 

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