(Closed) Disappointed.. And Not Being Nice

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1982 posts
Buzzing bee

Phew, give yourself some time, girl! We all get disappointed, so you have to let yourself be disappointed for a little while and then get over it. Take a long bath, have a good cry, whatever–just do it on your own and tell him you need some space for the time being.

I don’t think its fair that he tells you you’re delaying it more, but that’s what he wants to do, so you should respect that. Just keep yourself busy! It will come!

Post # 5
Member
5263 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

Ugh, I know it’s really hard! I think that guys tend to feel pressure (to propose “perfectly”, to propose at the right time, with the right ring, etc) and we feel pressure not to pester them too much, not to ask for updates, etc. 

It’s high stress for everyone involved, and I think sometimes it just gets to the boiling point for both people at once. So I know it’s hard, but take some time to yourself, and in a day or two sit down with him and let him know that you weren’t trying to rush him, that you just feel left out of things and it helps you to be able to talk about it, but that you understand he wants to surprise you. 

R & I went through this a couple of times. It was mostly miscommunication and holding things inside until they blew up. I think we even knew better at the time, but it still wasn’t fun. 

Post # 6
Hostess
16213 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Oh dear bee, I really don’t believe it’s because he is insecure. I think he just has a way he wants to propose, and he probably doesn’t want you to expect it, so he may put it off when he feels like you’re just waiting on it.

It will happen, and it will be so special, and it won’t even matter anymore exactly *when* he did it. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 7
Member
1278 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

aww – I totally know how you feel. Its hard, but sometimes the more you leave them alone, the more they will get around to doing it. They like to feel they have surprised you, so just concentrate on your relationship and making the two of you happy and the rest will follow

Post # 8
Member
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: Private home

You’ve got a solid plan for getting on with your daily life – it’s the only thing to do.  My now hubby confessed after we got engaged that he’d been trying to find and take  the perfect opportunity to propose for MONTHS before he actually did propose.  So cut him some slack and focus on your plan – if it’s meant to happen, it will!

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