(Closed) disappointed, but not offended, by MOH not being able to attend events

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
11760 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I had a similar situation, with 1/2 my BMs living in separate places.  I had two showers – one in hometown and one where we live now and some made it to one, and others made it to the other.  Only 1 BM couldn’t make it to either.  It really wasn’t a big deal.  I was a little sad at first but you’ll have a great day regardless!  

It would be nice if you could plan dates so you could have the shower during the day then the bachelorette at night.  I’ve had a few friends do this. 

Post # 4
777 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

@SarahCF:  That definitely stinks. I’d be bummed too. It’s frustrating that as a society we’ve put work as a top priority than our closest relationships.

Post # 5
336 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@SarahCF:  Maybe have the bridal show where you live, and bring the bachelorette party to her town!

Post # 6
2855 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I’ll be in the same boat as you. I haven’t asked my girls yet, but my MOH may not be able to make multiple flights out to wear I live. One of my potential bridesmaids is in med school down in Miami. I doubt she’ll make it to anything other than the wedding. So basically I’ll have maybe two girls at all of my events. It’s sad, but at least they’ll be there with you on your big day! (that’s what I’m telling myself!)

Post # 7
2841 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

My sister had some out of town BM….so I planned the batch party on a Saturday night, shower on a Sunday.  Some of the girls were a little ” tired” the next day at the shower, but everyone pulled themselves together and it all went beautifully. It was the only way two of the giold could come to both!!

Sunday worked best for a shower for everyone….but you could do shower Sat day and Bach on Saturday night so you guys don’t  have to be exhausted at shower?

Post # 8
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’d do the shower in the morning and the bach party that evening…this way she only has to make one trip!  Invite others who are attending both to come hang out at your place in between the 2 events.


Another thing that might help is to make it very clear that her attendance is much preferred to a gift. So if not purchasing a shower/wedding gift will allow her to attend the event, perhaps offer that up as a solution.  Also, let her stay at your place or with a friend so that she won’t have to worry about hotel costs.

Post # 9
12259 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

@SarahCF:  DH’s BFF lives 8 hours away, and all my friends live 4 hours away.

So we broke a cardinal rule–we went out drinking the night before our wedding!

The girls watched the Friday night wedding shoes while we did nails (and got a little wasted) in my room, and DH went out to a bar with his friends!

We all had a great time, and no one missed the wedding. Since we couldn’t do bachelor/ette parties, it was a REALLY fun alternative!

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