Post # 1
My Maid/Matron of Honor is great. She’s been my best friend since we were 7 years old. We’ve been through so much together (deaths, graduations, divorces, you name it). I was Maid/Matron of Honor in her wedding and both she and my sister are my MOHs.
She lives about 350 miles away. It’s a short but expensive plane ride, or a 6-7 hour car ride away. She has a pretty demanding job and money is tight, so it’s kind of difficult for her to make trips up here. Obviously she’ll be here for the wedding, but today we were discussing dates for shower and bachelorette parties and it’s looking like she will be able to make one but not both of them. I’d always envisioned her being here, and hadn’t thought through the part where she lives far away. When she told me she couldn’t swing it, I politely told her it was fine (it’s not her fault!) but honestly I’m disappointed. I don’t blame her and I’m not mad at her at all. I just wish she could come.
I’ll work with her a bit more to massage the dates so that maybe we can work something out (shower and bach on same day? bach party same week of wedding?), but it just threw me for a loop.
Post # 3
I had a similar situation, with 1/2 my BMs living in separate places. I had two showers – one in hometown and one where we live now and some made it to one, and others made it to the other. Only 1 Bridesmaid or Best Man couldn’t make it to either. It really wasn’t a big deal. I was a little sad at first but you’ll have a great day regardless!
It would be nice if you could plan dates so you could have the shower during the day then the bachelorette at night. I’ve had a few friends do this.
Post # 4
@SarahCF: That definitely stinks. I’d be bummed too. It’s frustrating that as a society we’ve put work as a top priority than our closest relationships.
Post # 5
@SarahCF: Maybe have the bridal show where you live, and bring the bachelorette party to her town!
Post # 6
I’ll be in the same boat as you. I haven’t asked my girls yet, but my Maid/Matron of Honor may not be able to make multiple flights out to wear I live. One of my potential bridesmaids is in med school down in Miami. I doubt she’ll make it to anything other than the wedding. So basically I’ll have maybe two girls at all of my events. It’s sad, but at least they’ll be there with you on your big day! (that’s what I’m telling myself!)
Post # 7
My sister had some out of town Bridesmaid or Best Man….so I planned the batch party on a Saturday night, shower on a Sunday. Some of the girls were a little ” tired” the next day at the shower, but everyone pulled themselves together and it all went beautifully. It was the only way two of the giold could come to both!!
Sunday worked best for a shower for everyone….but you could do shower Sat day and Bach on Saturday night so you guys don’t have to be exhausted at shower?
Post # 8
I’d do the shower in the morning and the bach party that evening…this way she only has to make one trip! Invite others who are attending both to come hang out at your place in between the 2 events.
Another thing that might help is to make it very clear that her attendance is much preferred to a gift. So if not purchasing a shower/wedding gift will allow her to attend the event, perhaps offer that up as a solution. Also, let her stay at your place or with a friend so that she won’t have to worry about hotel costs.
Post # 9
@SarahCF: DH’s BFF lives 8 hours away, and all my friends live 4 hours away.
So we broke a cardinal rule–we went out drinking the night before our wedding!
The girls watched the Friday night wedding shoes while we did nails (and got a little wasted) in my room, and Darling Husband went out to a bar with his friends!
We all had a great time, and no one missed the wedding. Since we couldn’t do bachelor/ette parties, it was a REALLY fun alternative!