(Closed) Disappointed by my 1st Drs appointment..

posted 6 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
Member
1360 posts
Bumble bee

Well, while it is true that a lot of pregnancies CAN fall through in the early stages, he really shouldn’t have expressed that opinion. It’s your choice, and you’re happy. Just don’t stress out about it, because that can cause added issues!

P.S. is your gyno MY gyno? Some of the things they say….

Post # 4
Member
700 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2004

I think it was a good time to go and confirm your pregnancy, and it really isn’t way too early to do an ultrasound. Most babies heartbeats develop around 6 weeks. It sounds like your doc was kind of rude. I’d probably try to see someone else next time. There is no reason for him to tell you that things could go wrong. Also, the darkness of the line doesn’t really indicate the amount of hormones in your body. At some point it will just be a line, some darker than others. But he didn’t need to be so rude about it. Just try to relax. your baby will be fine. But I do think you should try to get a new doctor.

Post # 5
Member
584 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

5/6 weeks is not too early, thats usually when they start to get you in. It could be that he was having a bad day, and wasn’t properly saying that your not measuring where you should be.. Theres a small chance you could be earlier then u thought? Im haping the best for you.      If things aarnt how he wants Im suprised he didnt have you go for repeat blood work… Every 48 hrs they check ur numbers to make sure its increasing

Post # 6
Member
726 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@kate87:  He’s probably just trying to warn you of the possibility of a miscarriage. I don’t think he was trying to say anything else. As for the test thing, he’s right in that you only need one positive (well, and maybe one confirmation) to see that you are pregnant, but it was a little ridiculous for him to say to come back to in two weeks to confirm you weren’t doing any more tests. Heck, if it helps you sleep at night knowing that your baby is safe in your belly then keep doing tests. Lol. 

Post # 7
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

My office won’t even see patients until 8-10 weeks along. He definitely could have been nicer, but that’s not everyone’s style. Some doctors coddle, some are very matter of fact. The early days of pregnancy are unpredictable and I’m sure they see a lot of women driving themselves insane testing, buying doppler systems, requesting multiple beta tests. Try to chalk it up as maybe you just don’t click with that particular doctor and look forward to your next appointment when you’ll know more. And congrats!

Post # 8
Member
198 posts
Blushing bee

@kate87:  well if he was having a bad day then it was definitely an on-going pandemic for doctors lol…..both pregnancies I’ve had have resulted in the same miserable appointment you described. And I got a telling off for my multipe tests lol. Like it’s his money buying them?! Pfft. This time round I told myself that as he was only my GP and wouldnt be doing my ante-natal care, it didnt matter, what mattered was my first midwife appointment, that would be the positive, life affirming one lol.

Yeah. My arse. lol! The midwife was even worse! She didnt turn her chair away from the computer screen where she was filling in my details the entire time. No eye contact. Nothing. Going through a painful personal medical history as well as a family history requires, in my opinion, a modicum of sensitivity, and, oh i dont know, EYE CONTACT? But no! She chose where I would be giving birth without even asking me (luckily I can change it but didnt realise at the time) and eventually, at the end of the appointment, grudgingly asked me if I had any questions. Still staring at the screen. I went quiet because I was struggling not to cry at this point, and I guess the silence startled her because she turned to me, and I said that following our previous miscarriage I was just terrified, truly, out of breath, heart palpitations terrified, and I was just desperate to get to the 12 week stage where hopefully the threat of MC falls.

Her reply?

”Foetuses die at anytime, not just before 12 weeks.”

And that was that.

I left in tears. Luckily, she’s been away (she’s a community midwife so deals with not just my local area but the surrounding areas too) and for my past 3 appointments I’ve had other midwives who have been truly amazing and reaffirmed my faith in midwifery lol. Sadly, she’s back now….but I bring my husband to all my appointments if we can manage it so I dont have to face the beast by myself.

I’m so sorry I’m not offering you any advice or anything, I just wanted to share my story too that doctors etc can be shitty, and insensitive and sometimes downright…horrible. Yup, I said it. For a woman, a young woman who’d had a previous loss and who was terrified, I just think her behaviour was out of order. But there are also ones who maybe arent hideously over-stretched, or tired, or just more understanding and empathic, and I truly hope that you have a better experience for your next appointment 🙂

Also, huge congratulations for your pregnancy! I’m sending you positive thoughts and positive ante-natal care ha ha x 

Post # 9
Member
7904 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

My OB won’t see anyone that early unless they’ve previously D&Ced. Mine also won’t do an ultrasound unless you want to pay out of pocket (about $300) unless it’s medically necessary (so not just because you want to see the heartbeat or confirm pregnancy). He might have been harsh in his approach, but he’s kind of right. There’s no point in continuing to take tests. Just wait a few more weeks until the normal time for a first OB appointment (somewhere between 8 and 13 weeks, depending on the doctor).

Post # 11
Member
4275 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

My first appointment was just questions about family history, to confirm the pregnancy and to get me started for future appointments.

She brought up the chances of miscarriages (to come in immediately if it happens), stay away from alcohol and raw fish and that she will see me in a couple weeks. That was about it. She probably would have chuckled if I had said I kept taking pregnancy tests, as she chuckled when I asked her about Deli Meat, Hair Dye and the like. She was sensitive to my concerns though.

Get a different doctor. It will get better when you hear the heartbeat and do the U/S though. So don’t fret.

Post # 12
Member
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

Some doctors don’t have “bedside manners” so ignore.

Post # 13
Member
93 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I had a miscarriage my first pregnancy so when I got pregnant with my son I was so terrified that I took multiple tests. I remember my second doctor appointment being a month after my first and I seriously took another test the day before my second appointment just to verify that I was still pregnant. I was terrified of going in and having them find nothing. Might be crazy but if it makes you feel better than there is nothing wrong with it.

While everything the doctor said may be true and there are risks this early I don’t think he should have said anything unless he has a reason to believe there is something wrong.

Post # 15
Member
1714 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

@kate87:  When you say ‘smacks of the NHS’, please do bear in mind that not all obs and gynae surgeons and doctors are horrible people, and that the NHS is a good system working with the best that it has. 
The hospital my mother is a consultant at gets nothing but glowing reviews, and is one of the best in the county and surrounding areas. Yes, you get rubbish hospitals and doctors, but these are far and few inbetween, and if you have a complaint, these will normally get processed very quickly and efficiently. A lot of importance is placed on how the patient feels, and the experiences of the patients during their time in hospital. 

OP, yes, your doctor was being matter-of-fact – he was simply telling you to be cautious. A lot of OBGYNs get patients at early stages, who get excited, and then something happens to the foetus and they blame the doctor for not telling them about the chances. Don’t be angry at them – it’s happened to some of them, and many of them are very wary about how they treat early pregnancies as a result. 

Yes, bedside manner is an issue here, but different doctors have different styles. See what he’s like at a later date, and if you don’t like him still, then change over. As simple as that. 

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