Post # 1
Hello! I have a good friend of mine who just told me she can’t make it to my wedding and I’m totally disappointed! We’ve been friends for about 6 years now. She is one of my closest friends! Anyways, we both live in the Seattle area now, and we are both from the same hometown where the wedding is. She has family there, too. She is living with her boyfriend and she is due with her first child in October. She was sick during my shower, so I understand her not being able to make it to that, but her excuse for the wedding is that plane tickets are too expensive (her Boyfriend or Best Friend lives in a 3 million dollar home – she has bragged to me about how money is no issue) and she would have to rent a car (again, her family lives just a few miles from the venue). A flight across the state is maybe $200 bucks. The drive is only 4 hours. The wedding is at 2pm and it will end by 6:30pm. She could easily do this trip in one day. Apparently she has an appointment the day after our wedding in Seattle, but she has known my wedding is August 18th since Christmas/New Years.
I know it would sucks to make the drive in one day, but I guess I expect a good friend like her to put in some effort to be a part of my wedding. We’ve been friends for a long time and I just feel disappointed in her. I already told her that, too. Am I being unreasonable?
Post # 3
You say she is due in October so she is at the about 30 weeks pregnant right now. I would not want to drive 8 hours in one day at that stage. I can’t imagine that would be comfortable at all. Also, some quick research shows that doctors do not advise flying during the third trimester. So yes, I do think you’re being a bit unreasonable. I also would not plan my appointments around a wedding (I’m assuming it’s for her pregnancy).
It’s okay to be disappointed because she won’t be there but be disappointed silently. Don’t say anything to her or pressure her to come.
Post # 4
Umm yeah the finaces maybe an excuse (but you also never know. Plenty of people live beyond their means but have the trappings of sucess) but why there is no way in hell I’d do an 8 hour car ride for anyone while pregant that late in the game.
Post # 5
@al0818: Umm she is due in October…her appt is probably for that, whether she knew about your wedding or not I think he appt is more important. Besides, if I were that pregnant I wouldn’t make the trip, especially by myself. I think you have a right to be disappointed that you will miss your friend, but not disappointed in her circumstances and definitely don’t say anything to her.
Post # 6
Agreed with the replies above – I would cut her some slack. Her health and that of her unborn child are more important, though of course your special day is right up there. If nothing else, she will be there in spirit.
Post # 7
Maybe when you’re 30 weeks pregnant you’ll have some sympathy and you’ll understand why traveling is a huge pain in the ass (Literally and metaphorically) when you’re pregnant.
Post # 8
I don’t know her exact due date, but if she’s past 28 weeks, she’s in her third trimester, and some doctors are very wary about recommending flying at that point. I’ve never had a kid, but I don’t think I’d really enjoy a flight with a giant stomach.
And it’s not just the 4-hour drive, it’s also the flying time, however long that is.
Just be silently upset. Don’t bring it up to her.