(Closed) disappointed in a friend…

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
7147 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

You say she is due in October so she is at the about 30 weeks pregnant right now. I would not want to drive 8 hours in one day at that stage. I can’t imagine that would be comfortable at all. Also, some quick research shows that doctors do not advise flying during the third trimester. So yes, I do think you’re being a bit unreasonable. I also would not plan my appointments around a wedding (I’m assuming it’s for her pregnancy).

It’s okay to be disappointed because she won’t be there but be disappointed silently. Don’t say anything to her or pressure her to come. 

Post # 4
7447 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MrsBeck:  +1

Umm yeah the finaces maybe an excuse (but you also never know. Plenty of people live beyond their means but have the trappings of sucess) but why there is no way in hell I’d do an 8 hour car ride for anyone while pregant that late in the game. 


Post # 5
7655 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@al0818:  Umm she is due in October…her appt is probably for that, whether she knew about your wedding or not I think he appt is more important. Besides, if I were that pregnant I wouldn’t make the trip, especially by myself. I think you have a right to be disappointed that you will miss your friend, but not disappointed in her circumstances and definitely don’t say anything to her.

Post # 6
46 posts

Agreed with the replies above – I would cut her some slack. Her health and that of her unborn child are more important, though of course your special day is right up there. If nothing else, she will be there in spirit.

Post # 7
9020 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Maybe when you’re 30 weeks pregnant you’ll have some sympathy and you’ll understand why traveling is a huge pain in the ass (Literally and metaphorically) when you’re pregnant.

Post # 8
2502 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I don’t know her exact due date, but if she’s past 28 weeks, she’s in her third trimester, and some doctors are very wary about recommending flying at that point.  I’ve never had a kid, but I don’t think I’d really enjoy a flight with a giant stomach.

And it’s not just the 4-hour drive, it’s also the flying time, however long that is.

Just be silently upset.  Don’t bring it up to her.

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