Post # 1
I’m mostly writing on here to try and find someone who has dealt with this in their past. I have been so excited to be engaged to my guy. My one downfall besides how expensive weddings are is the ring. It is an heirloom on his side of the family. It’s okay and his mom’s everything, it’s just not me.
The ring is a different gold, style and shape of diamond then I would prefer. I’ve tried to make piece with it, but after a few months I got up the courage to speak to him about it. He intially thought it was ridiculous that I didn’t like something that was special to his mom, especially because I don’t wear rings. He figured any nice ring would do fine.
Over time, I have moments where I find it pretty, but overall it isn’t me. He understands that now, but all of our money is going to the wedding and anything after towards a house. It’s like I’m materialistic enough to dislike it, but probably not to the point where I would waste a house payment on it. 😑
My big question is: has anyone else on here dealt with this scenario? Did you get over it after a while? Did you buy yourself something pretty? How did you solve the problem?!
I can’t wait to marry him, I’m so dang excited. The one catch is this ring constantly staring back at me.
(I attached the white gold ring I received AND the rose gold ring of my dreams)
Post # 2
I feel your pain, my ering was not what I wanted. Didn’t really want to say anything initially but did so in the end. He said if I wanted a different ring then I would have to upgrade it myself. I eventually bought myself a gold carat marquise ring and wear it currently. So my advice is to maybe find a cheap little ring until you are able to purchase something you truly want. Your local jeweler can melt down the ring and re-create something a bit more modern as well so you’ll have the same exact ring but just updated. Sorry, I’m not of much help.
Post # 3
I haven’t experienced this exactly, but like you I want a nice ring and wedding but also a house and they are all so expensive. Would you be happy wearing just a wedding band? I kind of like the look of an interesting or sparkly band without an engagement ring. Maybe you can pick a band you like that looks good alone and just not wear the e-ring. It sounds like your fiance would understand you not wearing it and just doesn’t want to spend the $ on a new one.
Post # 4
I agree with PP, I say keep this ring and focus on picking a wedding band that you’re in love with, and one you’d consider wearing solo. You might end up liking the look of your e-ring more once you have a band with it.
Post # 5
I didn’t like the ring he proposed with, It was too big not my style and totally impractical in my line of work. He’s traditional and didn’t want me not to have a ring to wear for work, so he let me pick another one which I liked and deemed far more practical. But my ring of choice was only £150 and he knew I wouldn’t pick a ridiculously expensive one so it wasn’t too much of an issue. He was upset I didn’t like the original ring for a while but he got over it.
Post # 6
Was money an issue with the ring and that’s why he used his mother’s ring?
Post # 7
I really like your heirloom ring, it’s so pretty 🙂 Don’t have it melted! I think the other suggestions about finding the perfect wedding band are brilliant and also perhaps you can find someone in the family who would appreciate the heirloom more.
Post # 8
I love the ring you got and far prefer it to your dream ring, but that’s neither here nor there.
I like the suggestion to get a beautiful wedding band and just wear that down the line, or a full set if you can afford it. Maybe you can wear the e-ring when you see his mom but wear a rose-gold set otherwise.
What I would *not* do is melt it down or refashion the existing ring, since it’s a family heirloom and sentimental to his mom, besides which the diamond shape and metal color aren’t your thing anyway. If it’s not your style I’d save it to wear occassionally or pass on to possible future kids.
Post # 9
Post # 10
I’d absolutely say something! You’re going to wear it for the rest of your life so you should love it. I have a friend who has an heirloom diamond from her in laws set in a new setting. Maybe you can have that diamond set in a setting that you pick out? I’d say it’s the perfect compromise
Post # 11
Since the ring is old, have you considered taking it to be rhodium plated? It may revitalize the white gold. Then, maybe try seeing how it pairs with a rose gold wedding band or an enhancer – a two tone effect might look really cool. Finally, if you are still unhappy, consider having the stone reset into a new rose gold setting and maybe put a gemstone in the original setting: that way you have 2 rings and don’t risk melting down something with sentimental value.
Post # 12
i completely undertsand. i asked my husband to marry me so we could move in together. two months later he proposed and told me my ring was all he could get me and that in the future i could get whatever i wanted. we got married a month later and he didnt even buy a wedding band :/ but again we were moving in together money was being spent else where. we decided that i would get a band next year for my anniversary. well as time went by the ring shrinkage was real and i was unhappy because i could have helped and chipped in for something “better” in my view. well my husband was devasted i was considering getting another ring. he felt like i didnt appreciate what he gave me considering all the hard work and the time crunch he was given.
i told him i would wear my ering on my right hand and never ever change it while i wante other rings and bands in the future they would be shuffled around on the left hand.
ok.. so the next year i got a white sapphire from walmart in 10k gold and bought a cheap moissy from india and switched the stone.
and the next next year i got a simple plain band.
this year i will get a band with stones. sometimes people ask me why i have two rings and i explain one is my ering and the rest are anniversary rings. if my husband is around he will rolls his eyes and say he has no idea why i want so many rings. but i just smile and wave cuz its no one business and i plan to give my rings away when i die. lol
he didnt say no so imma do what i want… all in a good time
Post # 13
Agree with PP – throw that sucker on your right hand and it becomes a family ring, just something nice that was passed down to you. Then get an awesome wedding band and get a new ering in a few years when you can, if you want. I also got an heirloom ering and six years later … my dream ring! Same wedding band. 🙂