(Closed) Disappointed in my Futue Mother-in-Law and the Rest of my Soon to Be Family

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 16
Member
63 posts
Worker bee

lareolin:  Some grooms’ families do care about the wedding.

Post # 17
Member
84 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: Union station St. Louis

I think expectations are the worst thing you can have sometimes: I expected I’d be closer with my mother n law but 10 years later it isn’t as important to me .. I had 4 kids he had 2. – were still together. Our kids have grown up as siblings and eventually their opinions didn’t matter – they remember one child’s bday but didn’t come to my sons fathers funeral, or send him a card or offer support, he was 17 at the time- he’s now 21 and missed that bday too. But go all out for my husbands kids …. Irritating, yes … Important to me no.  You make your family “yours” and if you learn to keep the expectations down to a low roar.. When they do something nice it’s just a pleasant little extra ! Main focus is you and your Fiance ! I promise it gets better 

Post # 18
Member
393 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Mother-In-Law doesn’t have to help plan

 

 

Post # 19
Member
376 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

claudiacarr1:  I think more often than not most girls get stuck doing the majority if not all of it. I’m just grateful that everyone wanted to get stuff done and that I didn’t have to follow up with them so their “help” was getting their dresses when I asked them to. othee than that I will ask ideas of what is common at weddings to gauge what I should be doing and they listen to me bitch. Finding all the vendors, putting together decor, picking out everything was me. There were two times I got pissed at businesses and had my Fiance call. Sorry this doesn’t really help but just wanted you to know it’s also common

Post # 23
Member
60 posts
Worker bee

I married overseas from my family. My husbands family are leaches and alcoholics so they weren’t included in the wedding or any planning. you need to suck it up and be happy to be able to marry your best friend. Plan what your can afford and don’t get carried away. My wedding was small, but we had a few friends and my parent flew over for the event. I did my dress shopping alone and didn’t have a wedding party to help. I didn’t have a bridal shower, no bachelorette night… Getting married is about the Union between you and your fiancé. No one else, nothing else. get him involved in the planning as its his wedding too and part of being married is being a partner to each other. You need his support so ask him to step up. 

Post # 24
Member
60 posts
Worker bee

I just read my post. Don’t mean for it to sound harsh, but I think it came out that way. I guess to summarize, you can’t put expectations in others expect your fiancé. If Mother-In-Law wants to help she should step up but it sounds like you have already attempted to include her and she hasn’t. just do you and don’t get caught up in everything else. 

Post # 25
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

I would have a super small ceremony or elope and call it a day … wedding are too much to be stressed out over .. Save your money & Sanity..

I would spend that money on a honeymoon for me and my SO ..

Post # 26
Member
553 posts
Busy bee

rynm:  ok, some do, so what? Generally most do not. And it is better for a bride not to expect much.

Post # 27
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

My Future Mother-In-Law is a Stay-At-Home Mom with one college aged child in the home…she didn’t attend any of the wedding planning appointments i invited her to.  My mother and sister are out of state.  It definetely hurts.

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