(Closed) Disappointed in myself after obsessing with how I looked on my wedding day

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 32
Member
446 posts
Helper bee

This has been a realisation for you. You realise that you can steer your future at least.

Why do you want new photos? Are you embarrassed about the past? Do you want to bin the photos of yourself and the feelings of inferiority that go with the weight you had?

If you are doing something in the present, there is nothing to prove.

Sure, if you want to hang a picture up of the wedding, it could be nice to wear a white cocktail dress to dinner somewhere and get a picture done. But why not informally, with a normal camera. You can always have it enhanced professionally wih color grading.

What I mean is, the wedding is done, but you should look to creating happy times together rather than trying to recreate a specific event too much. If you concentrate on having a great time at your dinner, the looks on your faces would tell people much more about your relationship than the weight on your hips.

 

Post # 33
Member
143 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

So if you are fighting off unhealthy eating habits, I would totally seek help for that. But, honestly, I think part of your reaction is more common than we think. We all know, rationally, that we’re gorgeous on our wedding day. And you were absolutely stunning when you got married. But we’ve all had a picture or two where we think “Is that what I look like?” It’s like when you hear how your voice sounds on an answering machine — it’s just weird. I think we have this idea — one which is certainly perpetuated by the wedding blog industry — that our wedding pictures are supposed to turn us into Gisele Bundchen. And when that doesn’t happen — when we all inevitably fail to live up to an impossible ideal — it’s natural to feel a little disappointed.

Look, I wouldn’t beat yourself up for not being in love with your wedding pictures. They’re just pictures. They don’t determine your beauty. Focus on how happy you look in those pics, focus on the expression on your FI’s face. Or, heck, just ignore them. If they are causing you stress and frustration, just keep them safely tucked in an album or a disc and try to forget about them. I actually wouldn’t recommend getting other pictures done right now — especially if you are going to fall into unhealthy eating habits before you take them. If you do take pictures, just have natural ones that celebrate your new life with your husband — summer vacations, hikes you might go on, family get-togethers. You totally deserve a happy and healthy first year of marriage.

Post # 34
Member
428 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

First of all, I took a look at your wedding photos and you are gorgeous and that dress is very beautiful! I’m not saying it for the sake of it, I’m not the type of person to do that 😉

I also struggled with an eating disorder in my teens and even though I consider I’m done with that for years, I still get insecure sometimes and I still feel self conscious every now and then. I have a similar body type to yours (as seen in your wedding photos), so I’m not obese or anything like that. I think it’s normal to feel insecure every once in a while because we are humans and that’s what we do. But what you experience is more complicated and it’s good that you started counseling again.

Now let me tell you what happened to me at my wedding less than a month ago… When I bought the dress, they fitted it tight because they said every bride looses weight before the wedding. Unfortunatelly, it wasn’t my case, though I was on a diet and I exercised 3 hours a day for that purpose. So the night before the wedding I tried the dress on and when I tried to breathe, 2 buttons broke and moreover, the whole bodice was so tight I thought I was going to suffocate. Needless to say I couldn’t move or sit down. So I called a neighbour early in the morning and she had to alter the dress and sew it manually on the go. Thank god it had been altered for the fitting and they didn’t cut the excess, but tucked it in. Otherwise, I was going to get married in jeans 🙂 But the wedding went on, I had fun, I didn’t care and I didn’t obsess over it. I have all kinds of pics: flattering, non flattering, tummy, double tummy, double chin, triple chin… I wasn’t skinny, I was me. And my husband thought I was the most beautiful bride in the world and made me feel I was exactly that and this is the most important thing to me. You know what they say.. perfection is boring. I wish you happiness!

Post # 35
Member
1186 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: A very pretty church.

View original reply
FleeSircus: Please don’t be disappointed in yourself. You have an illness which you have been managing. With your history (from what you have described) it is no surprise that this event, with its increased levels of societal pressures and scrutiny has found a vulnerable place in you. This is your struggle and those photos are going to speak to your illness like a siren call, no matter how you actually looked. Ask a person with limited lung capacity to walk up a steep incline and you may find that they have some difficulty. This is your incline. So please don’t beat yourself up, reach out for support.

The topic ‘Disappointed in myself after obsessing with how I looked on my wedding day’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors