Post # 1
So the Mr. and I have been happily engaged for almost 4 months now and I am just coming to terms with the fact that I am kinda bummed over the whole engagement. I think I was just SO exited to finally be a fiance that I didnt think too much about the actual moment. Heres what happened:
I’ve been seriously obsessed with the idea of getting married forever (like since I was 7 and was the junior bridesmaid in my aunts wedding). For the last 5 years that Fiance and I have been together, marriage has been all I could think about. I used to fantasize about our engagement. I had these high hopes for what it could be. I would read other brides proposal stories and seriously sobb thinking about how that would be me someday.
So the wedding talks started happening. I was scoping out rings online at the request of Fiance. We decided to visit a few local jewelry stores and started seriously shopping for rings (at this point I could hardly sleep at night. The anticipation was INSANE). I wanted to be involved in the selection of the ring and he was totally fine with it. In fact, I think he was relieved that he wouldn’t have to take a gamble on my liking it.
So we found the ring and paid the deposit. A week later we went and paid it off. It took about 10 days for it to be sized and to come back in. I had figured that he would hold onto the ring until the time was right. I didn’t expect to get it once it came in. I knew that he still wanted me to be surprised and for the whole thing to be special.
Well a few weeks passed and I was getting antsy. One night FI’s mom called to tell us that she was invited to Cape Cod the next weekend. She then proceeded to ask him if that was “okay with him” (Why would a mother need her 25 year old sons permission?) and she re-assured him that “should anything major happen, she could be reached on her cell”. While she was totally blowing up his spot, she was on speakerphone with me sitting about a foot away. FI’s face got white as he desperately tried to get her to shut up in hopes that maybe I lost consciousness for a minute and missed what she just said. I heard it clear as day. Fiance and I just kind of stared at each other for a second until he was finally able to get off the phone with her. He looked so defeated. I felt terrible. I knew how much he wanted it to be a surprise. I told him that I didnt know what he had planned but if he wanted to wait and do it later that I completely understood. He got all cute and said that he has waited long enough to propose so he was going to go through with his original plans.
Friday rolled around and we got all dressed up and headed out to dinner. He suggested stopping by the park first for us to take a walk. Even if my Future Mother-In-Law wouldnt have ruined it I would have totally known what was up once the park was suggested. Fiance is not a walk-in-the-park type of guy. Anyways, we walked around. Sat on a few park benches. Walked around some more. Sat on some more benches then finally ended up infront of this spitting fountain thing. There were some high school kids expressing WAY to much PDA about 10 feet away so Fiance literally just stared at them until they were uncomfortable and left (pretty funny, actually). Then he got down on one knee (in the gravel, mind you) and asked me to be his wife. He said some cute stuff and I of course said yes!
We were finally engaged and I was ecstatic. Now, looking back on it I’m kind of disappointed. I had such high hopes. I would NEVER tell Fiance this as it would break his heart but this was certainly not the proposal I always dreamed of (even though I’m sure its pretty obvious).
Anyone else disappointed in their engagement?
Post # 3
I think you have a nice proposal story. I know it is hard to hint around about romantic things (you want the guy to just know dammit!), but in the future, if you have certain expectations, try to make them known.
On the other hand, maybe you’re just disappointed now b/c the high wore off.
Post # 4
It sounds like you have just blown it up in your head so much that almost anything in real life wouldn’t have been as exciting. It sounds like a lovely proposal.
Post # 5
Your engagement sounds awesome!! Other than knowing it was coming (which you would have known anyway (because of the ring shopping)) what are you most disappointed about? That it wasn’t a total shock and surprise?
Post # 6
I don’t get it???
I think that was a very sweet engagement.
Post # 7
I’m sorry that you were disappointed in your engagement! We came very close to a similar thing happening to us. My husband called his mother’s workplace to wish her a happy birthday, and her coworker apparently started saying “Did you ask her yet??!” My husband started frantically turning down the volume on his phone, and in the process accidentally switched it to speakerphone. Thank God that the coworker had stopped blabbing by that point! But that close call probably inspired him to propose when he did, rather than wait a couple of days as he had originally planned. It was a huge surprise to me, and I think it’s really funny how close we came to having it all given away.
It’s okay to feel disappointed about your proposal, especially when we brides read so many stories about other people’s proposals. For what it’s worth, I do think it was very romantic how insistent your Fiance was on going through with his plans to propose.
Post # 8
Sounds lovely to me. Here’s my story:
We were on our way to Yosemite and got REALLY lost. Like, over 5 additional hours in the car lost (the drive is 5 hours total.) We just finished driving up the Sonora grade at a 10,000 foot elevation. We were both terrified, since we didn’t think his little ford focus was going to make it. We finally stopped to stretch our legs, not knowing where we were or how long it was going to take us to get to Yosemite, worried we wouldn’t make it before dark and not having eaten anything other than chocolate kitty cookies and sesame crackers all day long. He called me over to a rock he was sitting on, took my picture, then handed me the box on one knee. I opened it to find the littlest ring I could imagine (that I have since grown to adore.) I knew it was coming, having inadvertently discovered the ring box before we left. He didn’t say a word, didn’t ask me to marry him, no cute speeches, nothing. He couldn’t talk he was so nervous.
Was it the proposal of my dreams? Of course not. Had I imagined it dozens of times prior to that day in a MUCH more elaborate fashion? Yep. Was I dissapointed? A little. Did I get the hell over it? YES.
He proposed. You’re engaged. Be happy! Start planning your wedding! It honestly seems like you’re kind of looking for something to be dissapointed about and that makes me a little sad. Don’t ruin this special time for yourself. Move on and focus on the future.
Post # 9
i dont think engagements/proposals have to be over the top to be romantic.. the actual fact that he wants to be with you for the rest of his life and took the time to think of a suprise is romantic enough for me..
Post # 10
I think it sounds sweet, but i think you need to come to terms with reality. being obsessive over weddings, your marriage, your engagement, etc, is setting you up for disappointment in the long run. Just something to keep in mind regarding the wedding….
Post # 11
Yep! In the kitchen of a rental house that we hated, the day he bought the (wrong) ring. Via letter. Cheesy letter. Then we went to his parents house to tell them the happy news, and his grandmother looks at me and says “You’re going to have to lose some weight before you put a wedding dress on, aren’t you?”.
Oh yeah, and the e-ring upgrade came via fed-ex the other day. While his parents were here. So I went in the front door to avoid them (hint, hint), and he brings his mom in to see the ring. So I had to casually open the box and show it to her before I even really got to look at it. I had hoped for a redemption re-engagement. I was seriously annoyed at that – we didn’t even get to have our moment with it. 🙁 His family has screwed me out of two happy moments!! lol
Post # 12
*hugs* It was lovely, he tried. And I know the feeling- I was actually really, really, really upset over mine. REALLY.
I never tell people that, I always play it off and make it sound cute because he wanted to propose and make me happy and make that commitment, still blows though *giggle*
We’d been talking about marriage for 15 months (but we’d been dating 3 years at that point) and finally, around February he said he’d propose this August and told me to just relax and have faith. So I dropped it…then we were drinking and talking and it came up he would propose on our beach trip in August. It was 6 days, new places. I knew I still had time to be surprised. when we were there the jeweler called to say the ring wouldn’t be shipped to us there on time- he was right outside, so I kind of asked him about it (bitch move on my part, looking back) and he came clean.
I was upset, not at him, but in the situation. He proposed the next day with an antique ring he’d gotten…and he proposed under water and then popped up and put the ring on my finger. I’d been drinking (it was vacation!) and it was just so not the thing I expected from him… He set up a scavenger hunt with printed clues for me to find a birthday present, come on! So basically I was drunk, confused, dissapointed and BLAH.
But it’s ok, when my diamond ring came in he took me to a romantic dinner, asked properly and since I wasn’t expecting it I cried and shrieked and had the “omg!” moment I too had dreamed of 😉
So, in short, don’t worry! No one has to understand and no one you see every day has to know if you don’t want them to, but I feel your pain!
The end… LOL!
Post # 13
I guess your all right. Maybe I was just working myself up for something unrealistic. Fiance isn’t really the romantic type so I should be grateful he didnt just hand it to me after she ruined it. My Future Mother-In-Law still doesnt know what she did and hopefully never will. She’ll feel terrible and its not worth it.
All that matters is that I’m marrying my best friend in a little over a year and I couldnt be more excited.
Post # 14
Hmm…I’m on the fence here.
1) No one can tell you how you feel is wrong. You feel how you feel.
2) But…I do agree with others that it’s highly possible that you had engagement and marriage so built up in your head that no proposal would have met your expectations (b/c, let’s face it, we women are a little better at this romance thing than our men are usually ).
*hugs* I’m sorry you’re feeling disappointed with the proposal but remember – the story of the proposal is decidedly not the most important part of your engagement; in my opinion, it’s nowhere near the top of the list. The important part is that the two of you love each other and want to devote your lives to each other. So I agree again with PP when they said to move on & enjoy the engagement and wedding planning! 🙂