Post # 1
I know this has happened to many of you before but guess I can only rant and wonder if I’m being unreasonable.
In the last 2 months I’ve went on a 2 week overseas trip (where my fiance proposed) and a 4 days girls trip. I also have a 1 week destination wedding to attend in June.
I’ve since been telling my bridesmaids how much I’ve been freaking out about the reception and ceremony deposits that I need to get in by this month, but I feel like my financial worries are falling on deaf ears when my matron of honour starts planning another girls trip in the next 3 months to visit a friend living in the next state, AND wants to do my hens at another state so they can beat my fiance’s bucks ski trip?!
I told the girls straight up in a group email that I seriously can’t afford anymore trips as I have to pay reception AND ceremony deposits this month. I don’t even have enough days off work by the time honeymoon comes around! However, I told them if they are keen…go for it! In return, one calls me a party pooper and another reasons how cheap the trip will be. They’ve stopped emailing me since last week. I emailed one to ask about some dinner plans and never got a reply.
Feeling disappointed and stressed…guess I needed to rant since these are friends for 15 years whom I feel just don’t get where I’m coming from. How do I deal with this? Or just let it be?
Post # 3
I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all! You’ve already let them know that your finances are stretched so they should hear what you’re saying and understand. I would send them another email letting them know how much their friendship means to you but that between x date and x date, you simply do not have the funds or vacation time for anymore girls trips – as much as you appreciate they include you in them. Let them know that you are happy to spend time with them, at home or dinner (or other low cost gatherings). And assure them that they are free to plan their trip without including you in them, that you’re not going to feel left out!
Weddings are tough, especially when you’re paying for all or a lot of the costs on your own! If your friends are already married, they may have forgotten how stressful a time it can be and how stretched your finances can get. If they’re not married, then the costs and time off required to plan are probably not the first thing on their mind!
Good luck! It sounds like you’re friends really love you and jsut don’t want to leave you out of their plans!
Post # 4
@blinx81: You know, they’re supposed to pay for you at your bachelorette/hen party—if they’re not willing to do this then you are perfectly in the right saying no I can’t travel for it. I’m not saying that they should HAVE to pay but if they don’t want to there are plenty of cheap bachelorette party options