(Closed) Disappointed Vent

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
106 posts
Blushing bee

@nottoocool4school:  you sound just like me!  a few weeks ago my SO just randomly wanted to go to an event at a park that we frequented when we first dated.  It is gorgeous, and I thought for SURE all day it would be it!  It is hard not to show your disappointment!  I have been waiting since I tried on rings in June (i actually kind of hoped he’s propose IN Tiffany!) and I never thought I would make it this far- but here I am!  It hasn’t been easy- i just keep telling myself it will be worth it!

Post # 4
2037 posts
Buzzing bee

@nottoocool4school: First of all, hello!

Second of all, I have a few thoughts here:

1)  Maybe he was wanting to see if you liked that place.  Maybe you’ve never been, not together, and he wanted to see if you oooohed and awwweed about having a favorite flower or spot that he could plan a proposal for. 

2)  Maybe he got nervous.  It helps me to read the proposals section…you’d be surprised how many proposals are not huge made for movie moments and not because the guy doesn’t want them to be, but because they get nervous.  This always helps me everytime I *think* something is about to happen and it doesn’t.  This is a big moment for him.

3)  Don’t feel pathetic!!  I’ve been waiting, and I’m older, and I’m sooo ready.  But, I know that this is a very important moment for my SO too, he wants it done right and knowing that it’s coming (your guy has been talking about rings!) is helpful.

I do feel you on wanting to be among the lucky ones…you weren’t even thinking about marriage and BAM!!!  But….I feel fortunate to be apart of this process.  I have changed so many things about my thinking and my approach to my relationship, to life, and once you learn to deal with it, your confidence will skyrocket!! 

Good luck, hang in there!  We’re here for you!!

Post # 5
1088 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

This was me on Valentines Day this year, he did it up special and nice, and I was like- this is it!!!!  Nope!!  Had to wait another month after that, worth it though in the end, I swear!

Post # 6
1285 posts
Bumble bee

Maybe he was testing the waters to see your reaction and knew you’d be expecting it? Or maybe he got nervous?  Hang in there, it’ll happen soon.

Post # 7
351 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

@nottoocool4school:  Don’t feel pathetic. Most of us waiting bees feel this way at some point or another. Unusual dates have to be “it,” right? Nope. *Cue disappointment and mental face palm.* Many people will say that the easiest way to avoid disappointment is to avoid having expectations. The idea is in our heads from the moment that we know that the proposal is coming withen the forseeable future. Somewhere withen our throughts it will be present until it happens.

The best advice that I can give, and to try to take myself, is to give yourself a pep talk before every date (no matter how out of the ordinary), stating: “I love my significant other, and I will enjoy this date with him for what it is; time together. This is enough to make me happy without extra significance.”

 On my last date, it worked. I noticed the little nice gentleman-ly things that he did like opening the car door for me, holding my hand in the car, and so forth. I was able to enjoy the date without disappointment following.

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