(Closed) Disappointed with a few aspects of my engagement. It's breeding resentment.

posted 4 years ago in Engagement
Post # 120
Member
9565 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

this is really petty. No balloons? You wanted to elope anyway!? So he offers to elope on your upcoming cruise and thats an issue too??

Post # 121
Member
5227 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

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bridaljenny :  

You don’t see the bitchiness and venom in your replies?

Two wrongs don’t make a right. While the snark is wrong, your posts are saturated in vileness and immaturity.

Post # 122
Hostess
10433 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Chicago, IL

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bridaljenny :  I understand why you are reacting this way. People have been rude to you here. But you’re missing my main message, which is that your high expectations of others leads to resentment when they don’t meet your standards. Unless you adjust your standards to reflect your FI’s love language, I think you might be setting yourself up for lots of future disappointment.

Post # 124
Member
1083 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Ya’ll, I flagged this thread. This is out of control!

Post # 126
Member
9565 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

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bridaljenny :  Its true, I really cannot comprehend your OP and its not because I cant be bothered, its because its PETTY. You wrote here for objective opinions right? Well youre getting them. 

Have an engagement photoshoot with your beloved balloons. Guests/wedding party gave you anxiety because you have no friends… he offered a solution- get married on the cruise. If you really want a seperate trip than just tell him that. “I would prefer a seperate trip”. There, I just solved your “problems”.

Post # 127
Member
976 posts
Busy bee

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karen12 :  Congrats on probably the absolute bitchiest, unnecessarily mean comment in this whole damn thread. Next time you decide to make a post, I’ll remember to pick out something you enjoy that has literally no relevence to the original post, and make fun of you for it. 

Post # 128
Member
976 posts
Busy bee

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bridaljenny :  You should probably close the thread, OP. I just went through this entire thread, reading every comment and reply, and I still have no clue why people are being so horrible. I don’t see the same things they are seeing/sensing apparently. No use trying to convince them otherwise, they made up their minds. 

Post # 129
Hostess
10433 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Chicago, IL

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bridaljenny :  No, I acknowledged your message and agreed people are being rude. BUT they are being rude because of they way you react BECAUSE you have high expectations.

1) Your proposal sucked because there were no balloons.

– That sounds petty.

2) These responses suck because they aren’t want you wanted to here

– That sounds petty.

 

Time to woman up. Your fiance will never meet your expectations unless you give him generous clues or straight out tell him what you want out of life. Men aren’t mind readers, and if he’s not a particularly romantic guy, then you will be forever disappointed unless you learn to lower expectations or communicate effectively.

 

I mean the title of your thread literally says, “breeding resentment.” It’s not out of line for me to try to help you understand or figure out why you feel resentful.

Post # 130
Member
4726 posts
Honey bee

OP,  regarding the wedding party size, there is an easy solution. A best man, a maid of honor, and as many ushers as your husband wants. Or just a ton of ushers.  The upside is that it cuts down on a lot of expense and drama.

Post # 131
Member
2597 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Wow. OP, you need to chill. On all fronts, it seems. If you treat people IRL as you’ve acted here, it’s no wonder that your relationships are strained (or non-existent). 

Chill. It’s the best thing for you to do. Quit bitching that nothing is good enough for you. It really makes you look bad & I think that if your fiance is in for a lifetime of that treatment, Bees are feeling a little sorry for him. Take everyone’s advice. Get over yourself & quit making yourself miserable. He did nothing wrong. You are doing this to yourself. So stop.

Post # 132
Member
1452 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

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bridaljenny :  Can you see how a Jenni”quah” can be offensive and my username is Jenny? I am not out of bounds in questioning that, I did not attack. I asked, it was answered, and that was dropped.  

Notwithstanding anything else, I can totally see that if you are black, has no background knowledge about the threads on “Jenn the work friend” and the poster Jessiquh on this board, and your username has “Jenny” in it no less!, that you would find “Jenniquah” to be offensive.  

And wow people can get a superiority about anything.  You weren’t disappointed by your proposals, great. Doesn’t mean your relationship is better than OP’s. OP’s relationship is obviously going well enough that her SO proposed. 

The getting married on a cruise ship thing, OP, like some PPs I do also think that that is your Fiance being aware that you had been stressed out by the lack of a bridal party, and this was his way of trying to solve that problem for you.  

Post # 133
Member
3026 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

Just going to throw out there that if you want to close or delete this topic…the close option is under the reply box and the delete is somewhere at the top of the thread. You get a maximum of two deletes for your account. 

While some comments here were certainly not acceptable, I hope you’ll truly be able to look at the ones that were still blunt but still appropriate and take something from them. Best wishes to you.

Post # 134
Member
13561 posts
Honey Beekeeper

We’re closing this thread for review.

The topic ‘Disappointed with a few aspects of my engagement. It's breeding resentment.’ is closed to new replies.

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