(Closed) Disappointed with my engagement ring

posted 7 years ago in Rings
Post # 31
Member
532 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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Chicpeas:  I got a solitaire, pretty simple. To jazz it up we went with a diamond eternity wedding band, maybe that can be an option for you. That way you add to the expense of the existing ring. 

Post # 32
Member
2319 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

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Chicpeas:  I understand why you may be disappointed. There is NOTHING wrong with talking to your Fiance and asking if a reste is possible. Emphasize the fact you really appreciate the effort he put in but you’d prefer x and y. For those calling her ungrateful (which I knew would happen) why do you say that? You can be totally grateful for someones gesture but it may just not be her cup of tea. They should start calling this place the judgybee lol.

Post # 33
Member
1934 posts
Buzzing bee

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Spider Mum:  You’d have to ask the five people who clicked ‘helpful’ under my post.

Post # 34
Member
202 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Some girls don’t care about the ring and care about the sentiment only, but if you care about how the ring looks, then you should say something to your fiance.  I doubt your fiance would be offended.  Since you’ll be wearing it everyday, you should love it.  I know quite a few girls who changed their settings/rings after the proposal to something more their style.

The fact that he bought a E color, VS1 means that it’s actually quite an expensive stone.  You can get a GIA, 1.25-1.5 carat, H, VS2/SI1 for the same price.  Still excellent cut, which is all that matters.

Many jewelers allow trade-ins if you bought the stone there.  That is, if you want to trade your current diamond in, you get a credit for what you paid for it toward a new stone.  Ask your jeweler if this is possible.

Another option, as other said, is to change the setting.  I know you said that additional cost of that is high and you feel bad that your fiance already paid a lot for the ring, but would you be able to pay the cost for changing the setting yourself?  That way he doesn’t have to feel like you’re being demanding.  I personally would have no problems paying to upgrade to something I really loved.

  • This reply was modified 7 years, 5 months ago by mindycy1.
  • This reply was modified 7 years, 5 months ago by mindycy1.
Post # 35
Member
2409 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

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mindycy1:  Where are you buying your diamonds?

A search on BN shows that .75ct is the biggest you can get in a GIA H, VS2/SI1 for the same ballpark as an .5ct E, VS1. Seriously, no snark — would love to know so I can get in on this GIA 1.25 ct+, H VS2/SI1 goodness for a reasonable price.  

Post # 36
Member
202 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

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bitsybee:  Actually, I totally overestimated the retail cost of a .5 colorless diamond.  When I looked just now, it appears wholesale price is actually around $2000-2500.  After accounting for a retail markup, you’re right that at that price range, you’re stuck at under a carat for near colorless.  She could possibly compromise on cut to very good to bump it up to 1 carat if she cares about size.

Post # 37
Member
4097 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

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Chicpeas:  If a solitaire is too common a design for you I don’t see how adding a halo would make much of a difference. They’re pretty darn common from what I’ve seen on this site and in stores. 

Post # 38
Member
8601 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Yeah but a very good cut 1 carat isn’t “very good” at all. Excellent cut .75 would be much prettier IMO.

OP I think you should just get a halo for more finger coverage, and then you also get to keep the sentimentality of the awesome quality rock he got you. Just keep the halo near colorless as well! 

I hope it goes well for you. 

Post # 39
Member
2500 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: County courthouse

Oh man. Posts like this never end well!!

Post # 40
Member
1413 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2000

I would swap the setting and keep the stone he worked so hard to get.  I would have no problem paying for this myself….and then just call your engagement ring a ‘collaboration’ 🙂

Post # 41
Member
1455 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I would love it in it’s simplicity (for now) and then look around for a blinged-out wrap that you can wear with it. I’ve seen some beautiful ring wraps!

…and don’t listen to those who are being unkind to you here. You have every right to ask for support. 

  • This reply was modified 7 years, 5 months ago by .
Post # 42
Member
2500 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - A court...

Maybe get some blingy/ carved wedding ring(s)?

Post # 43
Member
8480 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I really think this is going to depend on your Fiance. When my DH proposed, he told me the same night if I wasn’t happy with the setting he would not be hurt if we exchanged it (I didn’t, but the offer was there). However, many guys will be offended by the suggestion that the ring isn’t “good enough” or whatever. If this is the case with your Fiance, I would suggest looking at getting some blingy wedding bands to dress it up once you’re married.

Post # 44
Member
2409 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

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mindycy1: Makes sense. I wouldn’t go to vg cut because excellent / ideal makes your diamond look bigger visually IRL – more brilliance, fire and scintillation. 

By carat weight, a girlfriend and I have a similar size, but mine looks bigger on my hand because my hand is smaller and the diamond is better cut. 

Only time it makes sense to go down in cut is for melee since that’s uncerted and not worth the cost to evaluate. 

Post # 45
Member
41 posts
Newbee

I understand how you feel.  I was disappointed in my ring, too.  It’s hard to admit, and it’s hard to bring it up without looking ungrateful or money grubbing.  Mine wasn’t so much the style and he did get a princess cut as he not so subtly asked me if I liked circles or squares.  He just knows nothing about jewelry or cuts or quality.  I don’t have a cert or anything. He bought me a ring at JCPenney which was a little odd for me as well.  I didn’t want him to go broke, but I wished that he spent the time researching diamonds and having the forethought to save money prior to it.  He is bad about putting aside the money.  So I got a 10K white gold, less than 1/2 carat ring with a poor quality diamond.  The diamond is very cloudy to the visible eye.  I think the ring was only $600.  My issue is more that he didn’t do his homework and know about the difference in gold karat and diamond quality.  He was looking at size for the money but I’d have rather had a higher quality ring than size.  The 10K white gold is a problem because I am allergic to nickel and the lower the gold grade, the more other metals they put in there.  He didn’t understand the alloy process.  I can’t wear my ring much anyway because I’m a massage therapist, but when I do, it does itch my finger after a while.  Hard to tell him it’s a cheap ring.  I might have to gently bring it up when it comes to wedding bands that I need higher gold and quality and that we probably shouldn’t go to JCPenney.  Poor guy is caveman as he always says and just had no idea.  If I can’t wear my e ring regularly, hopefully I can wear the wedding band more.  I kind of would have liked to pick my ring even if he proposed with a plastic ring first so we could pick it out.  But that’s the way it goes.

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