Post # 46
In all honesty, I don’t think his feelings would be hurt. I think guys think a little differently than us ladies so being honest with him shouldn’t upset him at all. I have three rings: my real ring and two fake ones I got off Amazon for when I’m working (I’m a bartender and constantly banging my hands against things) my fiancé doesn’t care that I wear the fake $20 rings, he just wants a ring on my finger at all times. Just tell him you want to upgrade your ring so that it represents you as a person. Everyone tells me that my real ring is “so me” and that’s a great feeling. There’s nothing wrong with making your ring YOUR ring 🙂 Good luck and breathe! He won’t hate you.
Post # 47
I would choose a great wedding band to go with it. The way I see it, the e-ring is his gift to you and I’d want to wear something he chose for me and every time you look at the ring you can see him and his love for you in it. And the wedding band, you choose together and you have way more input and you can jazz up the whole thing with anything you want.
Then your ring finger is decorated by a wedding set that represents both of you.
Post # 48
I would tell him honestly (but gently) that the rock is too small and you want a bigger one. Or, tell him that you want an upgrade in 5 years or so and keep the original engagement ring as a RHR.
Post # 49
thanks ladies for all your input! I am now considering either getting a halo setting or just go with an eternity band for the wedding ring. I do not intend to change the centre stone at all for sentimental reasons. also, i know he is very proud of its perfection, and it reminds me of the kind of person he is. he does not need a bigger stone to show off/ make people think that he is rich but he just wants me to have something of quality.
Post # 50
Do you think changing from a solitaire to a halo will be seen as an upgrade to most people? for me, it has always been a matter of preference for the setting, as i always thought i liked something more elaborate than a solitaire. and something like a halo for example, will cost more than a solitaire setting. i am just being careful of perception as i do not want to come across as ungrateful and asking for an “upgrade” (if that is what will be perceived) by people and more importantly his family. that said, his mum actually commented to me that she was sorry that her son bought me a small diamond. what an awkward moment!
Post # 51
thanks for sharing your experience.. I understand how you feel too. And i have struggled with feeling ungrateful and materialistic.
perhaps if he is financially able to, now or in the future, you can ask him to get you another ring to celebrate a special occassion/anniversary and you can wear it on your hand like you would wear an engagement ring with your wedding ring. you can buy this ring together and you will be able to provide your input.
meanwhile, focus on getting a great wedding ring you love! where i live, many people dont wear their engagement ring after they get married anyway, so just wear your wedding ring with pride!
yes, life isnt perfect, and not everything can be perfectly planned. that’s the way it goes. let’s nonetheless be grateful that we have found someone who truly loves us, and focus on the qualities he has *im trying my best to!*
Post # 52
“his mum actually commented to me that she was sorry that her son bought me a small diamond.”
My Mother-In-Law did the same thing, even though we picked the ring together and I thought it was perfect. It was definitely awkward.
Try on some blingy wedding bands first, and see if that fixes your problem. If it doesn’t, start looking at the other settings.
Post # 53
i love your comment so much! it helped me distill what i was actually feeling.. i am not ungrateful, but it is true that i have very specific preferences for jewelry. in fact, i dont really wear jewerly that people buy for me because my taste is quite specific. i can’t believe i didnt see the proposal coming! should have dropped some hints for such a big gift in my life 😀
Post # 54
If loving your ring is that important to you then be gently honest with him. Some ladies are not big into the ring thing,to them its just an item. But to others ( myself included) its the most important piece of jewelery you will ever own and you want it perfect. I love my rings because the sentimental value matches the aesthetic value. I love them for everything they are in everyway. You deserve to feel like that as well if its what you want. At the end of the day most of our men just want us to love the ring we are wearing and oogling at 300x a day. Tell him how you feel.
Post # 55
I think you should talk to him, if you don’t feel comfortable now, wait and talk to him when you’re ready! The ring is not the most important part of being engaged!
Post # 56
Take it from someone who has had the same thoughts. QUIT looking at other ladies’ rings and learn to love the one you have. I think the other ladies are giving you very poor advice. Your fiance took the initiative to surprise you, can you imagine how excited he must have been to propose and give you that ring? If you even hint that you are displeased, you may make him feel inadequate or even worse, he may begin to think that he is marrying a superficial brat. Think about his feelings, it’s not worth it, I promise.
My other suggestion would be to help him pick out your wedding band. The right band will complement your ring beautifully! Good luck!
Post # 57
Do what you like, but a classic solitaire with the stats you describe will be nice for a long, long time.
A freind of mine who I seldom see had her (replaced) engagement ring on and it was about half a carat and was astonishingly sparkly and gorgeous. It’s a solitaire. Her husband bought it for her after about 30 years of marriage because she lost the first one. We are all old and have lots of money, as old people do, haha, and he could have purchased antyhing.
But that ring was really something special, it had outstanding quality. It also caught my eye becuase it was an oval, my current favorite diamond shape.
Quality counts. Quality lasts.
Post # 58
yes yes (: thank u for your advice. i started thinking about halos after the suggestions here.. but then felt that the solitaire had it’s beauty too. and i know that when he bought that solitaire, he thought of me, and it represented to him what he saw in me. and there is a simplicity and elegance about it as well that i can appreciate from an aesthetic point of view.
I may not change my ring setting in the end. instead i may learn to appreciate it for its understated beauty and elegance. and yes, i do think it will be nice for a long, long time. re-assuring to hear this from someone like you who is much more experience in life than me (:
Post # 59
Weddingbee is full of people who are obsessed (or more than mildly interested) in jewellery. The stones are likely to be bigger and the rings more ornate than those of the average US citizen. Don’t think that the site represents ‘normality’.
In addition, photos, especially close-up photos, lie to us. For instance here is my ring.
Because I have taken a close up with a good mobile phone with a good zoom in good lighting with a steady hand I can produce a photo where I can show lots of facets. In real life, I wont see the diamond like this. I won’t see all the facets and although I’ll see the larger flecks of colour, tiny flecks of colour will simply be seen as white.
In addition phone cameras tend to magnify near objects so the near diamond looks bigger than the more distant band.
In reality I will see something more like this. (Photo taken in mirror to provide distance.)
Post # 60
Well, you could get a blingy wedding band – I think solitares can look fantastic with a blingy band!!!! I think you should put another ring next to it before making any decisions. If you still don’t like it, maybe you could ask to change the setting to a halo? To be honest though, it’s really lovely that he did this for you and you should be grateful.