(Closed) Disappointed with my engagement ring

posted 7 years ago in Rings
Post # 76
Member
1455 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

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Chicpeas:  No, I would not change the setting. He has expressed his hurt feelings. No halo, no ring, not bobble of any sort can change the fact that he wants you to love the ring he loved and purchased for you.

If you want a halo, buy another diamond, stick it in a halo and wear it on your right hand. <br /><br />

A ring is just not worth it.

Post # 77
Member
3102 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

<div>I hate it when people get caught up in objects – your FI’s hurt feeeeeelings about the ring. Oh wah wah wah grow up. When you marry, you will disagree on things – it’s a given. How you handle disagreements is what is important. It’s just a freaking ring that *you* are going to wear, it is not the relationship itself. You are not disrespecting or insulting him, you are simply making something that you wear more your style. As for spending more $$, I think that is primarily his issue. He feels that he has spent enough, doesn’t want to spend anymore and that is his decision. So, if you really want it that badly, pay for it.</div>

Post # 79
Member
978 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

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doberman:  preach it sister

Post # 80
Hostess
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2007 - City, State

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doberman:  I so agree with you!!! I posted almost this exact on OP other post but it looks like she deleted it. I think it’s a bit much that people are trying to make her feel guilty for not liking the setting. This is a ring worn your entire life! If you want a halo, I say go for it. He will get over it. I would just keep the original diamond. The setting is just good and probably came with the diamond already in it. I say get what you’ve been dreaming Of. If your man was gonna be so insistent on you wanting the original ring he picked  than he should have asked what you were interested in. That’s how I feel…. And no man has ever left a woman cause she changed her ering setting! I said before, maybe take him with you to pick it out. Look at wedding bands too! Maybe get a halo with a wedding band set and do it as your wedding set! Have the diamond reset Right before the wedding. 

Post # 81
Member
967 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I would express it to my fiancé. Explain to him exactly how you feel. I think getting a new e-ring  takes away IMO the “sentimental” value that it isn’t the ring he proposed with, but that’s just me. 

Post # 82
Member
532 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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Chicpeas:  I think jewelry is something you have to like in order to want to wear it. It’s like artwork, you have to like it to put it up on your wall. Other people aren’t always the best at picking out what you like for yourself. I think a ring you have to wear every day on your hand is something you should like. If you can afford to add the halo yourself, go fo it.

 

ETA: Please don’t pay any mind to the people calling you materialistic. When I buy a gift for DH I want to make sure he gets what “HE” wants, it is afterall for him. There have been times I have picked out something for him and he didn’t like it. I returned it and got something he liked, it’s for him to wear so he has to be happy with it. What is the purpose of giving someone a gift that they don’t like or isn’t their style? That in my opinion is making it about you, when it should be about the person getting the gift.

  • This reply was modified 7 years, 5 months ago by Trinisexy2.
Post # 84
Member
653 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Our Backyard/Steakhouse

 I also hate to admit that I found the diamond too small. If I could have imput (n the proposal didn’t come as a surprise) I would have sacrificed the high quality diamond for a decent quality one but bigger size.

This from your OP is what makes you seem ungrateful.  This is less about style and more about the fact that you just want it bigger.  Style and size are two very different things.  If you’d approached him and said, ‘I love that you wanted to surprise me and that you picked this out all on your own, but it’s not quite my style and I was thinking maybe we could go together and see if there’s something we both like’.  But from the sounds of it, you just want it bigger…which tells him what he picked out for you isn’t good enough and thats hurtful to any man.

Post # 85
Member
2409 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

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LDay1983: yeah. It seems from her update though she’s getting better at communicating to her Fiance that she wants more bling. Each to her own. 

I’m just dissappointed because I gave her a ton of good advice (like how to find and evaluate halos, where to get top quality pave for her dollar, etc.) which could have been useful to other bees and she deleted it 🙁

Post # 86
Member
845 posts
Busy bee

It’s just a piece of jewelry, no more, no less. He didn’t slay a dragon and cross the continent to get it. It’s not her style and isn’t what she would have chosen, so I think she should change it. I think her fiance will get over it and be just fine. It’s just a ring! Why should she have to wear something she doesn’t particularly like?

Post # 87
Member
1062 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

your poor SO.

Post # 88
Member
2543 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Omg what happened? I don’t read the boards for a few hours and bam! No, no, no, I’ll say again I completely agree with 

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doberman and others who say JUST GET WHAT YOU WANT! There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. And for ppl who think that bc she cares about size she’s disrespecting her SO and poor guy… Get off of her case bc she prefers one of the c’s more than you (or her FI) do/does. To each her own and you gotta go for what you want! 

Post # 89
Member
1762 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

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coffeedrinker:  Lol. Not nice? Oftentimes the truth isn’t very nice. She does seem ungrateful. 

Post # 90
Member
272 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016 - State Park

I was the complete opposite of you. I got a bigger lesser quality ering, and wanted a smaller very high quality ering. I brought it up to Fiance and he was completely understanding, he wanted me to have something I wanted to wear and something I would love forever. So we returned the original one, and I’m still waiting on my new one to arrive (it’s shipping this week). 

Bring it up in a gentle way. Start off saying everything you love about the ring, and then explain your thoughts and feelings. He may be hurt initially, but in the end I’m sure he will want you to have something you love. 

OR, if you can handle the size of the diamond, why don’t you just upgrade the setting to a super blingy setting since you don’t like the classic ness of a solitaire 

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