Post # 1
I hate that this is a negative post, but I need to vent to the hive. My bridal shower was yesterday and it wasn’t what I expected. First of all, my Maid/Matron of Honor forgot about the shower and didn’t really plan anything. She sent the invitations out and the guests received them about a week before the shower. She waited until the day of the shower to plan, and then she told me that she needed me to help. I was always under the impression that the shower was thrown for the bride. I didn’t know the bride was supposed to be involved in the planning and organizing of the shower. The morning of the shower, we had a corporate tug of war we were to participate in. My Maid/Matron of Honor and I drove over together and got ready to kick some butt. My fiancee came with our dog to support me and right before our event, she began to complain of a stomach pain. She kept telling me she didn’t feel well and felt very hot and wanted to go home. I told her to just go home and get some rest, and then she told me that she felt faint…and then she passed out. Thankfully, I caught her, and someone called the paramedics. I followed the ambulance to the ER and no sooner had we gotten in the emergency room did my Maid/Matron of Honor call me to ask me what she should do about the shower because she thought it should be canceled since I was at the hospital and she couldn’t get everything ready by herself.
I was irate. I thought it was rude and terribly selfish of her to call me about something so trivial when I was at the hospital with my fiancee and at this point, had absoultely no idea what had caused her to lose consciousness and I was subsequently worried sick.My fiancee ended up leaving the hospital against medical advice because she felt better once she had been hydrated. My Maid/Matron of Honor delayed the shower by a few hours and when I got there, it was just awkward. I bought a game a week before, and thank God I did because she didn’t have any activities planned. I actually had to ask her to facilitate the game because she assumed I would do it. I don’t know. It just seemed like she didn’t put any thought into it whatsoever, and I know she was irritated with me because I couldn’t help her during the day. My feelings are hurt, but I felt like I had to walk on egg shells around her all evening because I didn’t want her to be upset. I do appreciate her throwing the shower and hosting it in her home. I know it was not something she HAD to do, but I wish she would have put more effort into it. This whole ordeal took some of my excitement about the wedding away
Post # 3
I am sorry that your shower was not what you hoped it would be!!!!
And I really hope that your fiance is feeling better!!!!!!
Don’t let it take away from the excitement of your wedding – the shower and the wedding are two separate things and on your wedding day you get to marry the woman of your dreams!!!!!
Post # 4
That’s bunk! I think when your emotions cool down you should have a little sit-down with her and explain how you felt. I think it’s especially important because there are more activities to come, and I think she needs to hear very clearly what the expectations are, because she doesn’t seem like the kind of person who is going to put in the effort without being guided.
Hugs. I’m glad fiancee is feeling better, though!
Post # 5
firstly sending hugs because it must have been a horrible day – im so glad your Fiance is better and remember, there is nothing else more imporant
im sorry your friend didnt raise to the occasion – sometimes people are a bit clueless or dont really get excitable about these things as you had hoped.
Post # 6
I am so sorry to hear about your shower. However, the good news is that this gives you an opportunity to address some things with your Maid/Matron of Honor b/f the big day. I would also suggest that you take her out for coffee or tea and sit her down to express your feelings. Then, tell her in a very tactful way that you have certain ideas about your wedding and how things should be and ask if she can and is willing to help. Unfortunately, I think that lots of people don’t value each step of the wedding process as much as the bride – so we have to be vocal and upfront.
Post # 7
Some people are just really inept hostesses/party planners! They don’t realize that in order for a party to happen, someone actually has to PLAN it– all the work doesn’t get done by itself! I’m sorry you had a disappointing day! 🙁
Post # 8
aww, i am so sorry this happened to you! did she even apologize?
Post # 9
- Wedding: August 2010 - Stage 6 Steiner Studios
what a terrible day! I’m so sorry you had an awkward shower. It’s totally understandable for you to feel bad and annoyed at your Maid/Matron of Honor. Has she been a Maid/Matron of Honor or bridesmaid before?
Post # 10
Giving your Maid/Matron of Honor the benefit of the doubt, like latenite said, has she been in a wedding before? I’m one of the last in my group to get married, and I’ve been a bridesmaid before, and now being on the other end, I see what errors I made and how totally frustrating I probably was!! My best friend gave me a book of Bridesmaid or Best Man responsibilities when she asked me to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man, and due to financial issues I was a bad Bridesmaid or Best Man, and I regret it now!!
Post # 11
I believe she has been a bridesmaid before, but it was at her father’s wedding 15 years ago and she was still a child. I don’t want to say anything because I think it will make matters worse. She has not apologized, so I am betting she does not feel she is at fault for anything. I just need to get through the next 11 days and stay as upbeat and stress-free as possible. I need to forgive her, but I am still irritated…LOL! We work together, so I need to keep the work environment friendly as well.
Thanks for the feedback. I tend to be overdramatic at times and do not want to cross the line into bridezillaism. Thanks for keeping me grounded.
On an unrelated topic, is it odd that the seamstress did not take my measurements at my first fitting last week? I found it to be strange.
Post # 12
Glad the Fiance is doing better. That does stink about the shower. You shouldn’t have been involved in the planning or asked to help.
Just keep thinking about the wedding here in a few days!
Post # 13
🙁 I’m sorry it wasn’t a fun day, but I’m glad your Fiance is doing better. Was she just dehydrated and overheated?
Post # 14
@ Laylabelle: I believe it was a combination of both, actually. She doesn’t drink enough fluids and it was quite warm out that day. She is back to her old self; it was so scary to see her disoriented like that.
Post # 15
God, I can only imagine!!! Glad she’s better!
Post # 16
Sorry to hear it went so poorly!!! That is to bad that she wasn’t thinking more of you. I hope your fiance is doing better! Just enjoy the wedding day coming up and know it will be a blast:)