(Closed) Disappointing Proposal

posted 5 years ago in Engagement
  • poll: Can I talk to him about this?



  • Post # 2
    9436 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2016

    My personal opinion on threads like this: if you wanted a big, fancy proposal than YOU should have planned one and proposed to him.

    His proposal sounds sweet to me. And it’s not about the location, it’s about the fact that the man you love wants to spend the rest of his life with you. I wouldn’t mention it to him, because what is it going to accomplish. He will feel hurt and you will still be disappointed. Do you want him to do a re-do because that’s just going to feel fake (because it is). If I were you I would just try to gain a different perspective on this – focus on the happiness of your engagement and looking forward to your wedding and the rest of your life with the person you love.

    Post # 3
    1540 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2018 - Our Backyard

    This will be something you can look back on and laugh at. Maybe after you’re married you can give him shit for proposing where you shit, but for now, don’t say anything. And congratulations!

    Post # 4
    577 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: City, State

    Your SO proposed! Congratulations! You two should go out and celebrate over a romantic dinner and a walk in the park, and just enjoy each other.

    Sometimes people build up an event in their mind so much that it ruins it when it actually happens, since nothing actually lives up to expectations. You’re story is cute, and he was thoughtful, so just focus on all the positive for the sake of your happiness. No point in talking about it now, it will only put a damper on this wonderful time in your lives.

    Post # 5
    1180 posts
    Bumble bee

    Sounds like he wanted to surprise you and put some thought into it AND purchased you an engagement ring.

    Did you do any of the above things for him? Don’t let your disapointment ruin a beautiful moment. Not everyone is comfortable doing a public proposal.

    Post # 6
    368 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2018

    My fi proposed to me while I was sitting on the couch, looking my crappiest, watching tv, half asleep, and in the most non romantic way possible. 

    I like to tease him about not having a romantic bone in his body.

    Post # 7
    3526 posts
    Sugar bee

    Why in the world would you say something? You’ll crush his feelings. He asked you to spend the rest of your lives together- is that not good enough? 

    Post # 8
    2979 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    If you wanted him to propose a certain way you should have given him $, a script, hired cameras (or maybe actors…)


    Seriously! Stop focusing on the proposal rather than the fact that he PROPOSED.

    Post # 9
    556 posts
    Busy bee

    My husband proposed in bed when we woke up after a Christmas party and he was hungover.  To be honest I think he was still a little bit drunk. 

    Joke’s on him because we’re married now. 

    Make the *wedding* your dream.

    Post # 10
    6331 posts
    Bee Keeper

    He proposed in your apartment. He chose simplicity over flashiness. That sounds lovely. 

    Post # 11
    4835 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    View original reply
    sayjay3:  I don’t think this is a big deal on it’s surface.

    When I got engaged (several years ago now) I also felt disapointed that my DH didn’t do something a little better thoughout after making me wait so long and insisting that he didn’t want to skip the proposal.  At my core, this made me worried that he wasn’t really committed and didn’t really want to get married.  I had feelings of insecurity about it which were frustrating.  We talked about that – that is a big issue that needs discussion.  (Happy to say that we’ve been happily married for many years now…here’s hoping for many more!)

    Is there an underlying issue for you?  If so, I’d plan to talk to him about it.  Maybe wait until you’ve had a little more space from the proposal to do it. 

    If the problem is just that he didn’t do a good job of being romantic, I guess you need to ask yourself if that’s a big deal.  I, personally, don’t really care about romantic grand gestures.  That wasn’t a real issue for me.

    Post # 12
    9755 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: City, State

    If you say something you are going to hurt his feelings. Is that something you’re cool with?

    I wouldn’t say anything,personally. It’s done, it’s over and it’s not like you can have a do over (unless that’s what you’re hinting at?)

    Post # 13
    1032 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    Life isn’t always glamorous, proposals included. Congratulations on being engaged. That’s what matters the most, not how he went about proposing. 

    • This reply was modified 5 years, 5 months ago by kcoast. Reason: spelling
    • This reply was modified 5 years, 5 months ago by kcoast.
    Post # 14
    93 posts
    Worker bee

    Mine wasn’t great either in fact it was probably worse but romance makes me uncomfartable.

    but I think its something that we build up in our own minds

    Your engaged congrats dont be disappointed. You have a wedding to plan 🙂

    Post # 15
    4812 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2010

    I think it is sweet, intimate proposal idea.

    I also think you need to get over it. I really don’t think this is a big deal. You are engaged, he did something most would think is very sweet, and time goes on.

    In the long run, no one gives a damn, honestly, about your proposal story (except you if you make your disappointment the focus of it).

    If you wanted a particular proposal, you should have planned it and proposed to him.

    The topic ‘Disappointing Proposal’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors