Disappointing Proposal

posted 2 weeks ago in Proposals
  • poll: Am I being a total bridezilla?
    Yes, get over yourself : (119 votes)
    59 %
    Yes, it may not be ideal but he did something : (55 votes)
    27 %
    No, I understand why you are hurt : (24 votes)
    12 %
    No, he should have tried more : (5 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 46
    Member
    205 posts
    Helper bee

    It doesn’t matter if I or any of the other bees think this was a sweet proposal. You didn’t, you’re disappointed. You’re allowed to feel that way.

    My advice would be to try to find the good in it and move on. Focus on the next thing. The further you get away from the proposal, the better you will feel about it.

    Don’t set yourself up for more disappointment by thinking you will be able to control the wedding and make everything perfect. Things are bound to go wrong there, too. Life is imperfect and for those of us (myself included) who are always seeking control and perfection, it can be a hard reality to accept. But it’s the truth and the sooner we learn to roll with the punches, laugh things off and find the good, the happier we will be.

    Post # 47
    Member
    40 posts
    Newbee

    Maybe you should check out the “waiting” boards where long-term girlfriends of several years have been living in complete uncertainty and anxiety hoping beyond hope that their boyfriends will just get on with it and propose, AT ALL.  Be grateful you are engaged have a fiance who wants to spend the rest of his life with you. He could have kept you waiting for months or years for the perfect proposal, but when the ring came in, he was so excited he couldn’t wait to pop the question. Seriously, be grateful and let it go.

    Post # 48
    Member
    975 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2018

    bridezilla0549 :  My proposal story consists of my Darling Husband and I being on a holiday in Europe that my family predominantly paid for, him dragging me up a hill that I didn’t want to climb, getting on one knee, saying these exact words: “while we’re here… *produces ring* will you marry me?”  The ring in question was my mums hideous 80’s engagement ring from her failed marriage to a bloke long before I was born, that she gave to him.  We then asked a passer by to take a photo of us, it’s the middle of winter so we are all rugged up and I had no makeup on, was a bit sick and physically exhausted so I have what looks like a lazy eye in the picture.  Darling Husband is wearing a stupid Amsterdam beaning with the pom-poms that frame your face. 

    And you know what? It was honestly perfect.  The man I love, the man who shares my vision of the future, the man who is so scared of not being “masculine” and hates sharing his feelings normally asked me to marry him!  We planned our wedding and it was beautiful, and now we are planning a house and kids and our relationship is so fulfilling and happy and special.  

    I think your man DID go to effort for your proposal.  I’m assuming he paid for your ring?  What did you get him that was the same value?  Then when he received the ring, he couldn’t wait to put it on your finger!  He then organises a date night and sweetly asks you to marry him over icecream!  

    I don’t care what you say in your OP, you are expecting life to be like a movie or Pinterest.  Plenty of people had a more elaborate proposal than you, plenty of people had a less elaborate proposal than you.  I think you’re being ungrateful and selfish.  I can’t believe you even spoke to your fiance about his proposal not being good enough.  I think you should apologise and take him out for a date.  Then enjoy being engaged and wedding planning! 

    Post # 49
    Member
    45 posts
    Newbee

    bridezilla0549 :  not everyone gets a fancy proposal. But there are also things you may have gotten that someone with a fancy proposal did not get. Be grateful for what you have and what you get. 😊

    Post # 51
    Member
    621 posts
    Busy bee

    I’ve read this post 3 times now……where is it that she mentions a photographer? I’m not understanding why some Bees are criticizing her for wanting a photographer present. I don’t see this anywhere. 

    Regardless – I agree the proposal could have been more planned out. I also had a not very exciting proposal. But my Darling Husband was the same way, the ring was ready and he couldn’t take it anymore! In the end, it’s not something I’ve dwelled upon much.

    Post # 53
    Member
    3860 posts
    Honey bee

    WillowBee33 :  It looks like the OP edited the post. The original said something like “there was no photographic evidence” of the proposal. 

    eta – she also mentioned how all the photos she sees on pinterest/social media have the girl with her hands over her mouth so surprised etcetc

    Post # 54
    Member
    975 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2018

    satxgirl :  Thank you!  They might not make a movie about it, but it is ours 🙂 

    Post # 55
    Member
    237 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2019

    After 7 years my fiancé finally proposed in the outback parking lot he just wanted to get it over with and go eat and I was just glad he finally did it. He said he was nervous and my response was but you knew I would say yes. I did go ring shopping and pick something out but even then he was like we’re going to one store you better find something. Now planning are wedding and having everyone ask how he proposed it’s the most embarrassing thing totally unromantic. I have no picture no great story etc. But what are you going to do. Not everything turns out rainbows and flowers. I think you got to move on yeah it sucks you don’t have a great story but it also wouldn’t feel right to make him do it over again.

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