Disappointing? Small Engagement Ring

posted 2 years ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
2452 posts
Buzzing bee

So he decided to not use the heirloom aquamarine ring? 

Post # 3
Member
718 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

I don’t think you’re being materialistic or selfish – I wouldn’t have been happy with a 0.3 ct diamond. Is price the issue? Is there room to compromise on colour or clarity so you can get a bigger stone?

Post # 4
Member
206 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2019

I can empathize with getting caught up in the diamond’s size. Before joining the bee I was oblivious to engagement rings and diamonds IRL. My current engagement ring diamond is a .72 caret cushion cut (we originally looked at at .91 Ct) I didn’t know which diamond he had bought because I wanted it to be a surprise. I definitely thought he was looking more in the .80-.90 range so to hear that he had purchased the .72 was not disappointing but my thought process was well, why did we look at ones that were bigger?? Lol. To be honest after my fiancé proposed I didn’t care about the diamond size. I LOVE my ring and my fiancé ❤️ In the future we can upgrade. It’s not that big of a deal. You can always upgrade too. Don’t get caught up on the diamond size. Be grateful you found a man to spend the rest of your life with! 

Post # 6
Member
206 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2019

becstar1102 :  can you find out the reason why he doesn’t want to up the caret weight? Maybe if you understand his reasons for not wanting a larger stone or vice versa why you do want a larger stone you can compromise. Honestly, this isn’t something (in my opinion) worth fighting over. Diamonds can be upgraded. 

Post # 9
Member
6781 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I don’t even think a bigger diamond would fit In this setting. But if you want bigger, ask about the use grade policy and go buy a bigger one. 

Post # 11
Member
6224 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

It’s a beautiful ring and set but if money wasn’t the issue AND he has the benefit of his mother being a jeweler (which sounds like an “in” to getting the best bang for his buck) I’d be bothered to feel like I wasn’t being listened to, also. I don’t have any advice for you other than to wonder if he has a habit of not listening to you when you tell him what you want and why. If so, and it’s part of a larger pattern, then I think you really need to speak with him and take a look at how the two of you are communicating.

Not knowing you, I also wonder if you are being as direct with him as you may think you are. I’ve seen several posts on this topic where women were hinting and alluding to what they wanted but didn’t come right out and say “this is what I want.” or “I don’t like that”. When my (now) husband and I were looking for my ering, he showed me a couple things that he really liked and I did not and I told him directly “Do not get me that. I don’t like it at all.” If you were as direct as possible and he still did what he wanted to do for your ring- that’s concerning.

Post # 13
Member
958 posts
Busy bee

becstar1102 :  the ring looks lovely on your finger! And I think the size looked just nice with the halo. It’s not worth fighting over stone size. U can always look into getting another lovely diamond ring for anniversary in future!

Post # 14
Member
6224 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

becstar1102 :  Yeah. “What’s a .5 going to do that a .3 doesn’t do?” Be bigger, goddammit! LMAO

I don’t like the idea that he considers you silly and unreasonable. That’s dismissive. You want what you want and he knew what you wanted and did his own thing anyway. It’s minor but definitely something to take note of. Engagement rings, in and of themselves, are silly things. Nobody REALLY needs to get engaged by receiving a metal band with a sparkling stone, but this is something you are expected to wear for the duration of your lives together (unless you get an upgrade later) and the least he can do is be considerate of your feelings and desires for this item without being dismissive and disrespectful about it.

Leave a comment


Find Amazing Vendors