Disappointing? Small Engagement Ring

posted 1 year ago in Engagement
Post # 16
Member
314 posts
Helper bee

Is this a pic of the ring on your finger? If it is, I think it looks proportional and lovely. If you can’t come up with a reason you need it to be bigger, then yes, you are being materialistic. 

Post # 17
Member
331 posts
Helper bee

The ring is beautiful and with the halo, it looks bigger than .3. I know you want the ring you want as you will wear it forever (or until you upgrade) but this man loves you and bought a ring you both like. Since the ring is built around this stone, changing to a bigger stone means choosing a different ring and maybe he thought you wouldn’t like any other ring as much? 

The ring is beautiful to be honest and great quality. Stop obsessing over .2 ct and think about what that ring means and be excited for your future together.

Post # 19
Member
2598 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

becstar1102 :  my father was a jeweler. Changing the center to put in a bigger stone could mess up the whole look of the ring. If the prong setting is not designed to take a larger stone then the whole bit would have to be removed and replaced which could compromise the halo if the were cast together and could also result in the center being awkwardly high.

Post # 20
Hostess
3253 posts
Sugar bee

hbraerae :  When you’re talking about a .3 diamond, .2 is quite significant.

I don’t see how you’re being unreasonable. So you’d like a center stone that’s a little bigger. It’s not like he can only afford a .7ct diamond ring, and you’re demanding a 3ct. I would be upset by the fact that he seems to be prioritizing what HE wants and feels is important (the diamond’s stats) over what you specified you wanted. Not only that, but he then was dismissive of your feelings. Ultimately, it’s your ring, that you’ll be wearing. It should be something that makes you happy.

Post # 21
Member
64 posts
Worker bee

I am in the same situation. I told my fiancé I want a pear with a halo. That is exactly what he got me it’s just small. Total carat weight for my ring is 5/8. I wanted 1 carat. My center stone is 1/3 I did speak to him about getting a bigger ring and he said the same thing “what difference does it make”. I feel bad for even thinking like that, but it’s how I feel. He doesn’t get it though and he seemed a little offended when I bought it up. So I just left it alone. But I’m still a little unhappy. 

Post # 23
Member
3271 posts
Sugar bee

I don’t like the sounds of this. He’s completely ignoring your feelings and you’re the one who is going to wear the ring. How would he feel if you got him a pair of pants that were too short but he had to wear them anyway because they’re such high quality pants? 

Post # 24
Member
10185 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

becstar1102 :  

Oh, Bee.  Le sigh.  So many women on the Waiting boards would be ecstatic with a ring that came with a heartfelt proposal.  Any ring.  A twist tie.  A ring pop.

Your ring is lovely.  I like it very much.

On the other hand, you can’t help how you feel.  No doubt, your Fi feels hurt that his chosen gift of love isn’t up to snuff.  I can’t blame him for being a bit testy.  Perhaps he should have listened better.  Maybe he did the best he could with what he understood.  Some guys are just completely obtuse about such things.  I can give my Dh detailed, explicit, written instructions on an item to get me from the store.  I’ll even messenger him a picture of it.  Invariably, he’ll come home with a different product, or a different version of the one I asked for because he thought it was better.  Makes me crazy.  I’ve had to enact a strict NO SUBSTITUTIONS rule.

I do hope that you two can resolve this with minimal damage to your relationship.

Post # 25
Member
64 posts
Worker bee

becstar1102 :  I’ve been engaged since August. It is tough. On the one hand you don’t want to be ungrateful and act as if the ring is more important than the man and the marriage. But on the other hand you want what you want. I’ve just accepted the fact that I’m not getting a bigger ring anytime soon 😔.  So now I’m looking at wedding bands that can kind of jazz it up.  He did agree to get me the wedding band I want so I guess that’ll have to do for now.  For us money is the problem.  He’s about to start his own business so I know that he’s going to be putting quite a bit of money into that. I hope that you end up getting what you want. Also don’t torture yourself and look at the ring posts on here.  People on here have 2 carats and 3 carat rings. I get depressed every time I look at one 🤣.  Good luck!!!!  Oh and your ring looks lovely by the way.  I know it doesnt make yiu feel better, but it does!

Post # 26
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee

becstar1102 :  I just wanted to let you know firstly your ring set is so lovely and well proportioned and secondly with the halo it actually looks quite large. I would never think it was a smaller diamond as the halo gives the illusion of it being bigger. Do you know the total carat weight including the halo and sides?

Post # 27
Member
185 posts
Blushing bee

becstar1102 :  you yourself said “I love the whole package” 

To be honest, it seems like your feelings are not about the ring being too small, but about him being dismissive of you. And you are fighting for the bigger ring because you just want to have a proof you are listened to. And the small ring is just opposed to that, despite being very beautiful. 

Post # 28
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee

I think 0.3 would’ve looked small as a solitaire but it doesn’t look small at all due to the halo. Also it looks proportionate on your finger. I don’t like his dismissive attitude though. 

sunburn :  I like your analogy. A lot of things can be high quality but if it’s not your style / what you want, you’re not gonna wear it, same applies for jewellery. Perhaps you can explain it to him that way. But I would also suggest trying to accept the ring and see if it grows on you especially when you already like the look of it other than size.  

Post # 29
Member
1349 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Honestly I find it really funny how everyone thinks this is just fine and on other ‘dissapointed ring’ threads people get burned.

Bee, just be happy with your proposal. It’s about marrying the man you love, not the goddamn ring. If the ring is more important than hurting your man’s feelings (which has obviously happened since you say he feels like he dissapointed you) then your heart seriously isn’t in the right place.

PP is right, there are probably quite a few bees in the waiting boards that would kill for any ring and heartfelt proposal because they JUST want to marry the man they love.

I’m sorry, but I can’t condone this kind of shit. I would’ve said yes to my husband no matter what he proposed with, and I would’ve loved it regardless because he picked it for me.

This kind of mindset is just so messed up to me, it’s not about the ring it’s about your relationship.

Post # 30
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: May 2018

My concern is not the ring, but the fact that this one sided situation is taking place and you’re not even married yet. He is not the only one getting married between you both. 

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