(Closed) Disappointing Talk – More Waiting

posted 4 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
8446 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

twineknots:  Maybe he wants to live with you during the pregnancy?  Is there anyway that you two could move in together before the 2 year mark?  Or maybe start trying within a year and move in together as soon as you get pregnant?  I agree that you should start trying soon if you want a baby,  although there are plenty of moms that have their babies in their late 30s.  Hopefully he will understand this and reconsider.

Post # 3
7311 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

Two years isn’t an eternity, unless you make it that. Find ways to fill your time and make them good years. Don’t rush him if he’s not ready. It’s better to be patient until he is ready and excited about the prospect of making this huge change to his life than to rush him, deal with his hesitations, and deal with the aftereffects of being in over his head and not pleased about it.

Post # 5
330 posts
Helper bee

It sounds like he’s not ready, and although compromise might sound like what you would be doing for you, to him, it will seem like you are pushing him and sometimes that drives men further away. My SO is 43 and until october of last year, he wasnt ready for marriage or children, even though we talked about it for the past year. We’re a little different in that he was married and divorced in his early 20s. He decided that it wasnt going to happen for him again. and even after we dated, it took him 1.75 years to actually say thats what he wanted, and that it was what he wanted with me! We’ve been together for about 2.5 years and it still hasnt happened but i know it will when he’s ready.

Post # 6
1643 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

twineknots:  I don’t think you are being unreasonable or inconsiderable, why are his concerns more important than your very real, very important concerns about your fertility?  

Post # 7
4947 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

twineknots:   Could he move in with you?

Post # 8
281 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Personally, I wouldn’t want to have a baby (on purpose) with someone I wasn’t even engaged to or living with. I know it happens in “oops” circumstances, but I wouldnt want to do that on purpose.

Post # 9
2602 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Honestly, I think it makes a lot more sense to wait. I can’t imagine going through pregnancy in separate homes going smoothly or trying to move and get settled in and adjust to living together and getting married all while on the brink of having a newborn. That sounds extremely messy and not a situation I would put myself in on purpose. Your SO sounds like he is being rational. It doesn’t mean he’s stalling or not ready.

Post # 11
1081 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014



I can understand your frustrration  as we all well aware of the biological clock. I worry too sometimes… but I’m still being hopeful

I have a girlfriend who TTC at 40 and had her first baby at 41. Now that she is still on mat leave, she is two months pregnant.. (not intented) I was shock on how easy she got pregnant this time as I know she spend so much money on the shoot when she TTC the first time …and she told me only one of her ovary produce egg ….. 

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