(Closed) Disapproving wedding guest

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
46404 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Your bridal party members are entitled to a plus one. With 130 guests at your wedding you will be able to completely ignore him.

Invite him and then let it go.

Post # 4
Member
500 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Also your wedding is more than a year away so you really don’t need to worry about it for another 11.5 months

Post # 6
Member
5242 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

Maybe they will break up by the time of your wedding? joking. just invote him and ignore..its not like you have to make and effort to see him there

Post # 7
Member
11272 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

with that many guests, you won’t even notice him.  just enjoy the day and ignore him.  besides, it’s a year away still…anything can happen.  don’t stress over it.

Post # 8
Member
386 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I have a couple of people coming that I don’t like AT ALL. But they are guests of invited guests, it’s a risk you take when you hand out plus ones lol. I’m just gonna go with it and hope for the best.

Post # 9
Member
2006 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I’d invite him.  If he really disapproves, he won’t come.  OR he’ll grow up about it and be happy for you at the wedding.

Post # 10
Member
1849 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I guess I’m one of those tacky people who thinks close friendship trumps etiquette, so my suggestion would be to talk to your friend and express you worry to her. If she’s truly close enough to be a bridesmaid, her first thought should be to protect your happiness on your wedding day, not to get offended about you operating outside of traditional etiquette. I would still give her a +1, but just let her know gently and sincerely that if he’s still expressing disapproval of your union, you’d be uncomfortable having him there. 

Post # 11
Member
7738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

That’s not really a disappoving guest. A disapproving guest is e.g. someone who hates you and tell lies about you at every opportunity. He just thinks you’re marrying a little young. (Or more likely, it’s the excuse he gives his gf). Let her invite him, he won’t be a problem and you’ll hardly notice him. (130 isn’t exactly a small wedding).

Post # 12
Member
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Never, ever put your friend’s in a position where they must choose between their SO and you. You won’t win. On your tenth anniversary, you won’t remember the 10 minutes you spent talking to the guest you don’t particularly like, but you’ll absolutely remember (and probably regret) losing a friend over this. Let your bridesmaid bring her boyfriend and be a gracious friend to her.

Post # 13
Member
862 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Fall_in_love:  Basically, I’d tell him that it’s none of his business because it’s YOUR life and leave it at that.  Of course, I’d probably find a way of trying to word it a little more politely than that, lol but yeah, he really needs to be told that you’re an adult and that this is your choice.  Some people just want to make everyone else’s decisions for them and always think that they know best!  If he persists in telling you that you shouldn’t be getting married, I wouldn’t want him there if I were you.  You just don’t need that kind of negativity around you on your wedding day.  You should be surrounded by people who support you and your upcoming marriage!  On the other hand, however, he might learn to keep his negative opinions to himself, so I’d give him the chance to do this first for your friend’s sake.

Post # 14
Member
862 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Fall_in_love:  I was also just wondering… if you and he don’t even get along, then what’s it to him anyway if you’re getting married too young (in his opinion)?  Maybe I’d thank him for his concern but tell him that you’re confident in the choice you’ve made.

Post # 15
Member
864 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Fall_in_love:  I think you are way over reacting. The only thing this guy thinks is your getting married kinda young. That’s not really that big of a deal, and probably a thought shared by a few other people as well. Everyone’s got an opinion. I don’t think its that big of a deal and your friend is going to be hurt if you don’t invite him.

Post # 16
Member
2778 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Taeyers:  I agree with this.

I was almost in your situation.  My Bridesmaid or Best Man had a bf who was an awful human being.  He constantly acted like a child, treated me disrespectfully and also treated my friend like crap.  And when he got angry he would do things like throw the fridge off the porch.  Under no circumstances did I want this ahole to come to my ceremony.  Luckily she has broken up with him.  If for whatever reason she decides to get back with him I will be taking taeyers approach.

I had to do this with a friend about her spouse, she told me not to worry and he behaved for the party I invited them to.  Talk to your friend about it and see what happens.

Your situation doesn’t sound as extreme as mine but if you feel strongly about this or think that he will try to hijack the wedding or jump up and do an ahole toast then yes I would say something to her.  Also are you having a head table and will he be seated at it?

If you think he will behave it shouldn’t be a problem, if you have any reason to think he won’t then say something, if he is coming, rearrage your seating chart.
 

The topic ‘Disapproving wedding guest’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors