Post # 1
Okay so I’m giving my bridalparty a plus one for the wedding to be polite. But they all will know other guests so it’s really not a huge need (something I plan on stressing with them). Problem is one of my bridesmaids boyfriend and I don’t get along at all. Plus he honestly believes my fiancé and I r getting married too young. We are both out school and come the wedding will be almost 25. He believes you shouldn’t be engaged till 25. But the wedding will be right after our five year anniversary so we have definately tested the waters. Other than hoping she declines the plus one or they miraculously break up what can I do?? I really don’t want someone who disaproves at the wedding it’s going to be a small thing 130 guests tops so I really don’t want any guests who don’t support us. Any avice??
Post # 3
Your bridal party members are entitled to a plus one. With 130 guests at your wedding you will be able to completely ignore him.
Invite him and then let it go.
Post # 4
Also your wedding is more than a year away so you really don’t need to worry about it for another 11.5 months
Post # 6
Maybe they will break up by the time of your wedding? joking. just invote him and ignore..its not like you have to make and effort to see him there
Post # 7
with that many guests, you won’t even notice him. just enjoy the day and ignore him. besides, it’s a year away still…anything can happen. don’t stress over it.
Post # 8
I have a couple of people coming that I don’t like AT ALL. But they are guests of invited guests, it’s a risk you take when you hand out plus ones lol. I’m just gonna go with it and hope for the best.
Post # 9
I’d invite him. If he really disapproves, he won’t come. OR he’ll grow up about it and be happy for you at the wedding.
Post # 10
I guess I’m one of those tacky people who thinks close friendship trumps etiquette, so my suggestion would be to talk to your friend and express you worry to her. If she’s truly close enough to be a bridesmaid, her first thought should be to protect your happiness on your wedding day, not to get offended about you operating outside of traditional etiquette. I would still give her a +1, but just let her know gently and sincerely that if he’s still expressing disapproval of your union, you’d be uncomfortable having him there.
Post # 11
That’s not really a disappoving guest. A disapproving guest is e.g. someone who hates you and tell lies about you at every opportunity. He just thinks you’re marrying a little young. (Or more likely, it’s the excuse he gives his gf). Let her invite him, he won’t be a problem and you’ll hardly notice him. (130 isn’t exactly a small wedding).
Post # 12
Never, ever put your friend’s in a position where they must choose between their SO and you. You won’t win. On your tenth anniversary, you won’t remember the 10 minutes you spent talking to the guest you don’t particularly like, but you’ll absolutely remember (and probably regret) losing a friend over this. Let your bridesmaid bring her boyfriend and be a gracious friend to her.
Post # 13
@Fall_in_love: Basically, I’d tell him that it’s none of his business because it’s YOUR life and leave it at that. Of course, I’d probably find a way of trying to word it a little more politely than that, lol but yeah, he really needs to be told that you’re an adult and that this is your choice. Some people just want to make everyone else’s decisions for them and always think that they know best! If he persists in telling you that you shouldn’t be getting married, I wouldn’t want him there if I were you. You just don’t need that kind of negativity around you on your wedding day. You should be surrounded by people who support you and your upcoming marriage! On the other hand, however, he might learn to keep his negative opinions to himself, so I’d give him the chance to do this first for your friend’s sake.
Post # 14
@Fall_in_love: I was also just wondering… if you and he don’t even get along, then what’s it to him anyway if you’re getting married too young (in his opinion)? Maybe I’d thank him for his concern but tell him that you’re confident in the choice you’ve made.
Post # 15
@Fall_in_love: I think you are way over reacting. The only thing this guy thinks is your getting married kinda young. That’s not really that big of a deal, and probably a thought shared by a few other people as well. Everyone’s got an opinion. I don’t think its that big of a deal and your friend is going to be hurt if you don’t invite him.
Post # 16
@Taeyers: I agree with this.
I was almost in your situation. My Bridesmaid or Best Man had a bf who was an awful human being. He constantly acted like a child, treated me disrespectfully and also treated my friend like crap. And when he got angry he would do things like throw the fridge off the porch. Under no circumstances did I want this ahole to come to my ceremony. Luckily she has broken up with him. If for whatever reason she decides to get back with him I will be taking taeyers approach.
I had to do this with a friend about her spouse, she told me not to worry and he behaved for the party I invited them to. Talk to your friend about it and see what happens.
Your situation doesn’t sound as extreme as mine but if you feel strongly about this or think that he will try to hijack the wedding or jump up and do an ahole toast then yes I would say something to her. Also are you having a head table and will he be seated at it?
If you think he will behave it shouldn’t be a problem, if you have any reason to think he won’t then say something, if he is coming, rearrage your seating chart.