(Closed) Disclosing Debt

posted 6 years ago in Money
  • poll: When was debt disclosed?
    When we were dating : (79 votes)
    76 %
    When we got engaged/during wedding planning : (9 votes)
    9 %
    After the wedding : (0 votes)
    Never disclosed because our finances are separate : (2 votes)
    2 %
    I have no debt and neither does my partner : (13 votes)
    13 %
    We were friends before the relationship so the debt situation was already known : (1 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 3
    2822 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    We discussed everything while dating.

    Post # 4
    3265 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    Well, considering we’re still “dating” 5 1/2 years in, and I know his debt (and he knows my lack of), it’s been discussed. This far along and living together I can’t imagine being clueless.

    Post # 5
    3720 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    It came up early on (he knew I’d be paying for grad school for a long time). The actual numbers came in our pre-engagement chat. He has no debt.

    Post # 6
    98 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    We got engaged about a week before we graduated from college–so we both knew that we were both in debt before that, but we didn’t know the concrete amounts until we started talking weddings.

    Post # 7
    8042 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2013

    @fingerscrossed:  My guy had no debt (had his house paid off and everything). I had about $4K worth of debt and I told him about it very early on in our relationship. It was taken care of quickly. We started dating when I was 25 and he was 39 so he is quite a bit older than me thus the much different financial situations.

    Post # 8
    1769 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I guess while we were dating? We never sat down and said “I owe $$$”, it was more just known – I know he had a very small amount of credit card debt and a small medical bill (haha…I know that one because I’m the one who took him to the ER and argued with his insurance company about it!). He knows that I always complain about student loans, and I also have a baby credit card debt.

    Post # 9
    13099 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    While we were dating.  I think it is important to make sure you are on the same page about all the major things (including money, which includes dealing with any debt) before getting engaged.

    Post # 10
    1318 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    We actually sat down and exchanged credit reports about a year before we got engaged. I never felt so naked and exposed in my life, but it has really helped us to know everything about our money histories and how to handle them in the future. 

    Post # 11
    1306 posts
    Bumble bee

    Well I was in college when now-DH and I started dating, so he knew about my student loan woes from day 1.  Probably even before day 1 (we worked together for years before dating).

    I think anytime merging of finances (in any way – living together, marriage, etc.) is being discussed as a possibility it needs to come up.

    Post # 12
    3697 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I picked we have none – but I knew what he paid for/owed on his house when we were dating.  That’s all the debt we have between us.  And thanks to a generous gift from his parents we were able to pay off the loan he took (from them) for part of his downpayment (to avoid PMI). 

    Post # 13
    786 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    When we moved in together 2 years ago it was fully discussed but we were definitely aware of each others debts when we were just dating and not living together yet.

    Post # 14
    4275 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    When we were dating and it looked like it would turn into a serious thing.

    Post # 15
    6124 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    We discussed everything after dating 6 months probably.  Pretty early on.  I had only student loans and a mortgage, he has only a mortage at the time. 


    Together, currently, we only have the mortgage (I sold my house and paid off the student loans).


    I feel it’s pretty essential to do, and I cannot see how it couldn’t come put prior to engagement/wedding.  Maybe we like to talk about money more than others?

    Post # 16
    3303 posts
    Sugar bee

    When we were dating.

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