- 5 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013
I have been away from Weddingbee for quite sometime. I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl July 17th. I haven’t posted my birth story yet but I will soon.
Reason for my post is I am slowly getting over postpartum depression. When I first came home I didn’t want to be around anyone, not my husband, my baby, no one.
Prior to having our daughter, my husband and I were the perfect couple, we were the couple that everyone wanted to be around and be like. Everyone is thrilled that we finally have a baby. He was my best friend and I loved every minute with him. Now, I can’t stand being around him, and I don’t know whats wrong with me. There are times where I am talking to him and in the middle of me talking he is holding our baby and baby talking to her and I feel like I have to bend over backwards to get his attention.
Maybe I am the problem? I knew that having a baby would change the relationship, I hate to admit this because I feel like a terrible person, but maybe I am jealous of all the attention my husband gives to the baby? For so long it was just him and I, we were together for almost 12 years just him and I.
I’ve also been through a lot, not just with the labor but suffering from PPD, I have had to give my 13 year old dog to my mom because my dog tried to bite our daughter 4 times and was successful twice. I kinda feel like I resent him for that because if he left it up to me, I would have kept Daisy.
We have had some of the worst fights over these last 3 months than we have ever had in our entire relationship.
I want to go to marriage counseling but I have called a few therapists and its super expensive and don’t take insurance ofr this kind of counseling. We can’t afford $150-$250 per visit right now.
I feel like the only time my husband tries to give me attention is when he wants sex and quite honestly, I am not feeling so sexy right now. I have horrible stretch marks, I still have about 20lbs to lose of baby weight, my arms are huge. So we have had it but I don’t enjoy it. It doesn’t feel the same for me, it still hurts. My husband says it doesn’t feel different, if anything it feels better. (great for him! but not for me)
I just don’t feel the way that I did about him before the baby was here. And I don’t know how to get back to that point.
Has anyone been through this? Did things get better?