(Closed) Disconnected: Why Do Men Underestimate Women's Sex Drive?

posted 5 years ago in Intimacy
  • poll: How often does your Husband/FI/SO underestimate your desire for sex?
    Always : (3 votes)
    10 %
    Often : (10 votes)
    33 %
    Sometimes : (2 votes)
    7 %
    Rarely : (7 votes)
    23 %
    Never : (8 votes)
    27 %
  • Post # 2
    1633 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    I have always said this. After awhile, men’s jokes/cracks/gripes about women not wanting sex and not thinking about sex get really old, and it has always irrationally upset me.

    Probably because many women eventually wind up in situations where their male partners’ libidos tank for one reason or another, and then the women feel all sorts of emotionally messed up because, hey, society shoves the idea down our throats that our men always want it more than we do.

    Along similar lines, though, wasn’t there some kind of a Twitter campaign awhile back where women shared their sexual escapades and appetites in order to make the point that they engage in similar behaviors as men? And a bunch of dudes lost their minds about it?

    Post # 3
    9519 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    Shoudn’t this come down to communication so the guy doesn’t have to guess when and how much the lady wants it?

    Post # 4
    1286 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2018 - Omaha, NE

    My partner’s sex drive has always been higher than mine, and we are both aware of it. I agree with PP that it should be about communication. Every partner has needs, whether it be “more” or “less”. Both partners need to find a happy medium through communication of those needs. Some people (men and women) will have a higher drive than their partner, but I think the general trend that males have a higher drive usually is true.

    Post # 5
    569 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2017

    I voted ‘often’, because he doesn’t anymore – he knows very well now! :p That being said, he did use to be surprised at how often I wanted it… 

    Post # 6
    1292 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2019

    It’s a no-win situation as a woman, really. Don’t have sex and you’re a prude, but have too much and then you’re a slut. It really does boil down to communication, because a trend doesn’t hold true for everyone.

    And maybe this is not as much of a contributing factor as I think, but I feel women are taught to present themselves as sexual without actually expressing desire and men aren’t at all. I say this because I formerly thought of myself as borderline asexual because I didn’t want to be intimate with my ex-FI that much, but he expected me to have a certain figure and dress well, look put together, and be ready to ‘receive’ him like a seasoned pornstar. Whereas he refused to shower more than once in a weekend and whined if he had to look even vaguely dressed up.

    My current SO takes care of himself and is a sharp dresser, and I just can’t keep my hands off of him. So perhaps there are also some instances of mismatched expectations and general sexual incompatibility too.

    The topic ‘Disconnected: Why Do Men Underestimate Women's Sex Drive?’ is closed to new replies.

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