Post # 1
The holidays are here. Turkey Day is tomorrow (though Fiance and I already celebrated) and we won’t be spending it with mine or his family. This is mainly because I will be working from 7p-7a tomorrow night so I’ll be sleeping the afternoon away.
I am bummed about it, but I am beginning to realize that both of our families are completely drifting apart. Mine has been dysfunctional for years and years, but it was nice to join one that still enjoyed get togethers and holidays. This year his uncle invited only his grandparents. FI asked his mother if we were all chopped liver and she said that she wouldn’t even go anyways.
It makes me wonder what happend and what the years will bring. I thought holidays were meant to be celebrated with your loved ones. It seems as if they’re really dreaded by our families. FI and his father had a big fall-out and frankly, neither of us want anything to do with him. I would make an exception for holidays though – just as I have for years with certain family members of mine.
I’ve always been one who LOVED being with my family. It always made me feel warm and happy inside. Now all I feel is disconnection.
I guess it’s time for me and Fiance to start our own traditions and follow through with them each year. I would rather us branch off and do our own thing now since no one seems to be wanting to get along.
Oh boy. I guess it just doesn’t feel like the holidays this year.
Post # 3
I definately had some of those feelings over the last few years. Growing up the holidays were such a treat! Everyone came together, it was full of laughter, smiles and love. We ate , drank and it was just one of those rare moments in life where you feel content.
Then people get married, divorced, some die, move away, have kids and all of the sudden rifts form and people fall through the cracks. All of our family traditions [x-mas, easter, etc etc] fizzled out with time or they just changed, it feels off.
I too am looking forward to starting new traditions, and started a few years ago and it really has been fun! Just think that some day, you and your future husband will be hosting all these big ol family events, and the children will just love it- just like you did!
Hopefully you and your FI’s family can eventually work things out, just because regardless of holidays it never feels good to have disconection with family!
Post # 4
I am so sorry. I does sound like you need to start your own holiday traditions. I have! It is even possible to “adopt” people into your family. I do that all the time. All that is needed to make a family is love. Find some nice people and start your own traditions with them. 🙂
Post # 5
i remember a friend from a good close family said almost the same thing, she said since her and her siblings married it seemed the family was falling apart because they werent as close anymore
hopefully you and your Fiance will be able to reconnect with family and friends, maybe next year you will be able to invite them to your home to start the process
Post # 6
@Rouquine: I’m sorry things are so rough for you and your Fiance this year. I echo the life changes Mrs.Argentina described, and the need to start new traditions. The torch is being passed to you for your own family. I moved a couple times, to another country and eventually, across the US. I wasn’t near family and so, during the holidays, I would have a big dinner with friends to bring that warm feeling and those happy voices into my home…and now I have my own family in addition to those friends. So, it’ll all come back to you in time. Just keep making it special for yourselves, you and your Fiance, whatever you can do to start your own traditions now, however silly or small, do them, soak them up, and continue them next year. 🙂
Post # 7
Thanks for the responses. You guys are so sweet.