(Closed) Discouraged after Pre-Cana

posted 4 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
Member
993 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@BeeRod527:  what part of it upset him? maybe go back and do the softer stuff first?

Post # 5
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’m not a Catholic, so don’t know very much about Pre-Cana, but what kind of religious leaders would get so aggressive to the point where one of the people they’re trying to teach/support has to leave, and the other one starts crying??

Obviously, I can’t tell you whether or not to go back because a) I don’t know enough about Pre-Cana and, b) this is a very personal decision whether or not to get married in the Catholic church, but I would be pretty irate with someone who thought that that kind of behaviour was okay.

Post # 7
Member
3754 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

We did precana and are getting married in the church, but plan to use birth control and condoms. They will have no idea what we will do behind closed doors (our priest even told us this!). In our precana they didn’t even discuss NFP with us (thankfully), but rather gave us a packet about it to read on our own time. I am not Catholic so was worried about precana but was pleasantly surprised. It was over 1 weekend and was lead by multiple youngish married couples. Not judge at all! Could you find a different precana class better suited to you??

Post # 8
Member
638 posts
Busy bee

@BeeRod527:  I assume if he’s racked with guilt that he’s not one of those “casual” catholics. Like my family. If this is so, wasn’t her aware that birth control would be off the table?

Post # 10
Member
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

What exactly doesn’t he belive about the NFP? I know at our weekend prep they had a couple there that used it mostly to get pregnant and used a method of NFP that was not a method that I could follow. They also didn’t do a very good job explaining the whole thing. I ended up researching it on my own (and buying books) to fully understand it. It really is just science so there’s nothing to not really ‘believe’ about it.

I’d also like to add that the couple should not have been so aggressive about it aso to cause such a breakdown like this.

 

Post # 12
Member
3754 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Sorry, by weekend I didn’t mean an overnight. It was run by a local catholic (Jesuit) university and had a class Saturday and Sunday for like 5 hours each day. I would look online and find ones with good reviews. Or just grin and bear it so you can get your completion certificate! I’m sorry they are so judgey…. I don’t think I could handle that!

Post # 13
Member
1448 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

That’s tough.

Religious differences will come up in the course of your lifetime together, not just with this one topic.

The questions that the couple couldn’t answer effectively should be brought to the priest; perhaps the priest knows a different couple who can explain the church’s position more effectively.

How do you feel about NFP? From my perspective, it will matter more if your perspectives are aligned in the long run than if your collective point-of-view doesn’t align with the church.

There are a lot of subjects in Catholicism that unfortunately don’t support current scientific fact. Your FI will have to decide if his secular perspective is something that can be aligned with the church’s perspective or not. His integrity may be more important to him, and to be honest that is something the church should value.

Another point is that there are many cultural Catholics that wouldn’t bat an eye at these classes and keep on doing whatever they are currently doing.

Post # 15
Member
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@BeeRod527:  then he needs to learn a little more about the body. The mucus can be a little wishywashy but the temping is dead on. And if you’re avoiding.. then that’s all you need to worry about. it really isn’t hard. you set an alarm and plug the temps into a chart online/on your phone and bam. It’s not a chore at all. I actually like it b/c I can pinpoint my period to the day 12 days in advanced. Oh and DH doesn’t pay attention to anything other than when I say, hey I have my 3 temps (confirmed o) so we can have sex whenever we want now.

Edit: and it isn’t just the catholic church using it. A lot of women who want NATURAL birth control use the same methods. 

 

 

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