(Closed) Discouraged after Pre-Cana

posted 7 years ago in Catholic
Post # 93
Member
724 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Do you know what they call people who use Natural Family Planning?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Parents. 

Post # 94
Member
960 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@BeeRod527:  Can you smile and nodd your way through it and speak with a priest you trust privately? Depending on the priest they can have very different views and make you feel a lot better.

Where we’re getting married there is a very “old school” priest that didn’t even want the unity candle saying it was as irrelevant as stacking rocks. And a yonger priest that was fine with candles and much easier to work with.

Post # 96
Member
504 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@BeeRod527:  wowwwwwwww, after reading all these posts, now you tell us your priest has no problem with you living together and is still marry you. And your Fiance is worried about what some random couple said about NFP? If your priest has no problem marrying you and he knows you are living together then for sure finish the Pre-Cana, smile and nod and  tell your FI he should speak to your priest if he has concerns about what was said about Pre-Cana.Obviously the priest is very moderate and is who youshould be talking to

Post # 98
Member
4335 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@JLR1982:  that is not funny, and you are just showing your own ignorance.

Post # 99
Member
724 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@red_rose:  why so defensive? If it works for you, more power to you. Personally, the two catholic friends I have who practiced NFP each had an “oops” baby and went back on birth control. 

Post # 100
Member
4335 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@JLR1982:  Go back and re-read my previous post. How was I defensive? But now I am, as I’m just so sick of defending NFP from decidedly ignorant people like you, who probably think it’s the same as the rhythm method. I know people who have had nearly every method of birth control fail… does that mean I go around making jokes about how they are “parents”? um, no. My husband and I have been using NFP for 1.5 years… and guess what, WE’RE NOT PARENTS!!!! I don’t have time to look up statistics right now, but used properly (following the rules, with the guidance of an instructor if there are any questions,) some methods of NFP have a nearly 100% success rate. Do some research instead of relying on a couple of anecdotes before you spout off offensive jokes.

Post # 101
Hostess
3571 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@red_rose:  +1 

@JLR1982:  That was neither informed nor productive to the discussion we’re having here. I definitely know WAY more people who were supposedly using condoms or birth control and got pregnant than Sympto-Thermal, etc. 

Post # 104
Member
3256 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@dressme3:  The Church does not refuse to marry couples that cohabit.  The marriage ceremony cannot be done within the context of a mass; that’s all.

 @BeeRod527:  The NFP bit was a little annoying in ours as well – we are in a very large class, at the cathedral in our archdiocese, with lots of professional speakers.  They had professional speakers on this topic as well.  They were from a NFP practice.  One of them, who spoke for the first half, went on about the rise of divorce rates at the same time birth control was introduced, and how there was no other logical explanation for those things coinciding, and “I tried to rationalize it, too, but there’s no way around it” which drove us CRAZY as we were both scientists.  She also kept saying “not that I’m judging anyone, or their choices” which is code for “I’m totally judging everyone and their choices.”

The second woman who spoke stuck pretty much to “this is how our particular NFP system works, and these are the statistics on its effectiveness, as well as statistics on other methods’ effectiveness.”  Now, they obviously used the stats that pointed most in their favour, but you’d do that in the other direction of your goal was to encourage hormonal BC, so that’s just par for the course in my opinion.

Precana was realy useful to us, especially the session about communication – the speaker was a psychologist.

Generally speaking, your priest, and the Church in general, is going to be much more accepting of your choices than the people who preach NFP.  Even though the Church may disapprove, they would rather have imperfect Catholics with our butts in the pews, than an empty Church with more rigorous standards.

Generally, when people challenge me on why I remain in the Church when there are areas where I have differences of belief, I say that I’d like the Church to change on those things, and that if everyone who thinks those things just leaves, how will there ever be change? 

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