Discouraged in dating

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
7669 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I’m confused; are you dating currently or still with your noncommittal manchild partner? I really hope it’s the former. If by some chance you’re still dating this dude, step 1 is to cut all ties so you are free to meet someone who actually values you.

Post # 3
Member
3068 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Have you heard of a TV show called The Undateables? It is on channel 4 in the UK but sure you can find some bits of it online.

Don’t be put off by the title. It is a very positive show about dating with disabilities. That might be a good confidence boost for you.

They also give details of dating agencies that specialise in helping people with disabilities.

Post # 4
Member
534 posts
Busy bee

tiffanybruiser :  I’m really confused by this too.

OP, are you currently in a 4 year long relationship and dating/playing the field at the same time? From your post, it is unclear if you were dating for 6 months before meeting your partner.

If you’re not in an open relationship, then maybe your current partner is a ‘safety net relationship’ too and you have deeper problems than getting men to like you.

On a second thought, instead of trying to make yourself more attractive to potentional suitors, why don’t you A. work on fixing the relationship with your partner by being more honest or B. set him free if you’re thinking about dating other men?

Post # 6
Member
167 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

– Just get out of the house more, meet more people, and try my best to enjoy every second of life to the fullest no matter my relationship status

 

Do this! x

Post # 7
Member
7669 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

lauralaura123 :  Bee I just read over some of your previous threads and am really disheartened to see you are still involved with this guy. This is the guy that won’t refer to you as his girlfriend right? 

“But if he decides he doesn’t want to commit in another two years, I want to be in a good position to find someone else.”

Damn…this would be bad if you were planning to wait two more years on a proposal from a guy you’ve already invested four years with, but you’re not even at that stage yet – you’re waiting on him to call you his girlfriend (if I understand correctly)!? no, just no.

You are really focusing on the wrong things in your post. If you’re already at the stage of mentally preparing yourself to enter the dating world, then enter it now! You know what one of the most attractive traits is to anyone? Confidence. You are not going to be able to gain confidence if you continue seeing a guy who won’t even call you his girlfriend. This has to be doing a huge number on your self esteem. I know it’s hard, but you need to unshackle yourself from this loser fully and completely if you want to have any hope of being successful in the dating world.

Post # 8
Member
10085 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Your FWB is a loser and you should dump him. No man is better than a bad man.

Post # 9
Member
11469 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

Twizbe :  great tip re the show. 

lauralaura123 :  bees are right. This guy doesn’t treat you well. I hope you get out of the house more, meet new people, and start enjoying things that make you happy. Be a little selfish, bee.

 If you want to get a new hairstyle, go for it. I love getting my hair done when i’m feeling low, but don’t do it thinking that it might get him to want to commit. Do it for yourself.

Post # 10
Member
1074 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

lauralaura123 :  Drop him. 4 years of FWB? Nah girl. If you were happy with that arrangement that would be fine but clearly you’re not. You’re closing yourself off from the possibility of potentially meeting someone who will cherish you because you’ve tied yourself to that drongo. 

Post # 11
Member
1074 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

lauralaura123 :  “Also, if I am more attractive overall,it might make him quicken the pace a little?” This makes me want to scream. If this were true why would you want to marry this shallow loser. MY GOD WOMAN

Post # 12
Member
1760 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

I dated a man like yours. For 6 months. Overall a really nice guy, and he had a fantastic job and lots of money (hence my hesitation to leave him), but I realized that I needed more. I needed someone who would call me his girlfriend, kiss me randomly, tell me I’m pretty, et cetera. I realized that if I was reaching for the stars, I would rather be alone than feel unwanted.

Literally one month after I broke up with Mr. Moneybags I met my now-fiance, who is everything I could have ever dreamed of. Not as much money, but I don’t need money to be happy.

It takes a lot of contemplation to know what you need in life. But for me, John Lennon was right when he said “All you need is love” – and I think you deserve that love. 

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