(Closed) Discouraging…..

posted 8 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 3
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

You don’t have to justify your life choices to anyone else. Take the advice you need, disregard what you don’t. Sometimes it’s wise to take advice from the older, married people (provided it’s contructive advice). I know at many times in my past my family has told me things I didn’t want to hear/weren’t supportive. Sometimes I listened to them, sometimes I didn’t. I don’t regret making the choices that were right for me.

Post # 4
Member
7695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

It sucks but people like to think they know whats best for you. As long as you are comfortable and happy with your decision thats all that matters!

Post # 5
Member
115 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

My fi and I are the same age as you guys…I think we are lucky that we have lots of love and support from our families…HANG IN! There will come a point when you will realize that other peoples opinions dont matter and that at the end of the day its just you and your hubby… 

Post # 6
Member
123 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Don’t let it get to you.  Whenever you make life choices that are different from those surrounding you, you’re going to hear about it!  Just let it roll off your shoulders.  Your financial situation is not their business.

My Fiance and I are working like crazy to pay off all student loans, car loans, and have only our mortgage as debt.  This means we say no to trips and eat dinner in almost every night.  We get told that we’re missing out, that the loans can wait around…we just smile and know that we’re doing what’s right for us. 

Do what’s right for you and don’t worry about the noise 🙂

Post # 8
Member
1077 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Don’t sweat it too much.  People wouldn’t bother to “disapprove” if they didn’t care about you. 

My fixer house ended up being a huge error.  People who give you warnings might just be sensitive about bad things that have happened to them, and they want to spare you their own trouble.

Just do your best and enjoy the path through your own experience.

Post # 9
Member
548 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

@MsBrewer – I would tell those people who say you don’t know who you are yet to shove it (nicely of course).  Yes, you will change over the course of your life.  Am I the same at 23 as I am now at 28…of course not, and I shouldn’t be.  Will I be the same at 35…I sure hope not.  Just because you’re young doesn’t mean you can’t grow and change together.    People in older age brackets change and grow apart – not just young people (not saying you will of course).

 

And I think you’re being very smart about your mortgage, staying well below your budget.  To me that speaks volumes about your maturity at a young age. Not everyone has that.  GOOD LUCK!!

Post # 10
Member
243 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I agree with the PPs!  Do what makes YOU happy!  They’ll come around and if they don’t then screw it.  you can’t live your life looking for approval or support.  Although we’d all like it 🙂

Post # 11
Member
172 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

It could be that they don’t really understand what is involved in buying a foreclosed house. It sounds scary, so they might just want to discourage you from doing something that they think might harm you, rather than looking into what it involves and calming their fears with facts. I have been in a similar situation – I find it helps to either help educate them or not involve them in the discussion. Whatever you decide, go with your gut. Good luck!

Post # 12
Member
1371 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

People are so silly.  They think that because things were “this” way for them, it will be the same for you.  I turned 26 before my wedding, and had been with my husband for 6 years (3 living together), and some people told ME I was too young!  There will always be people that tell you you’re doing it wrong.  Just don’t listen to them.

Post # 13
Member
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Sorry that others are making things so difficult. But the only people that matter are the decisions of you and your Fiance. This is your life, make decisions that are best for you and stand by them. Unfortunately as you begin making more adult decisions you will no longer be able to get everyone’s support. My inlaws tried to discourage my Darling Husband from proposing to me, tried to call off the wedding, and still will not come to our house because they do not agree with us buying a home when we could rent. But Darling Husband and I had a beautiful wedding and love our new home and at the end of the day the only people’s opinions that matter are ours.

Post # 14
Member
3011 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Age is just a number.  Congratulations to the both of you on your engagement and having stability in your life.  Not easy to come by these days.  Especially at our age (I’m 22 as well).

Post # 15
Member
40 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2011

What a bummer on your excitement! I have to admit that I have questioned several friends’ decisions on getting married when they are 19, drop out of college, work at Starbucks and have no where to live. But even then, almost all of my friends that have gone that route have worked it out in the end, they just made it SO much harder on themselves. And really, my doubting them was so unimportant since my opinion on their life really doesn’t mean anything.

Sounds like you are making very wise, thoughtful, and calculated decisions that support your giddy love and excitement. Those around you will see what you see when it all falls into place. Just keep focused and enjoy this time. 🙂

Post # 16
Member
3774 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2004

@DesireeAnne:  There are two types of people who make the statement that “age it just a number”.  People in there late teens and early twenties say this.  The other group is older adults who have never grown up and reached the point of maturity to know this is not true.  

     I am not saying that you shouldn’t get married because you are young.  The thing that frustrates people about everyone who gets married at such a young age is that you look at us like we are insane when we voice concern.  You don’t know what you don’t know!  You can make it work, but it will be harder.   Someday you (hopefully) will be able to have the wisdom to try to give a word of caution to some young girl.  She will look at you like your insane. 

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