(Closed) Discovered The Ring and I hate it

posted 5 years ago in Proposals
Post # 2
Member
9521 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I am curious on how you found the ring. 

When the timing is right, which you already know, maybe say it is a lovely accessory ring but you would prefere a more tradition (IE- diamond) ring for the long run. You should shop make a date to go to lunch, the movies and go ring shopping together without the expectation of purchasing on the spot. 

Post # 3
Member
1887 posts
Buzzing bee

Is it possible that it’s a family ring with a lot of meaning to him? I would hear him out about why he chose this particular ring and genuinely try to get to like it before you decide anything.

Post # 4
Member
4063 posts
Honey bee

View original reply
theatrejulia:  I agree with this. And if the cost of a diamond is an issue for him (I’m wondering if that’s why he got a ruby), maybe you can check out moissanite?

Post # 5
Member
6949 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

Did you ever discuss rings with him at all?  If not, he’s not going to have a clue what you wanted.  Maybe he likes the symbolism of using red for a Christmas proposal.  Or is it your or his birthstone?  Or as another suggested, an heirloom ring?  I wish we could see it, but obviously you can’t keep busting in on it to take pictures or you’ll get caught…  Sounds like it could be pretty though.

Post # 6
Member
1635 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

View original reply
lf84:  Is it possible this is a Christmas present and not an engagement ring??

Post # 7
Member
35 posts
Newbee

Well you could go ring shopping with him to show him what you like in a casual way, or if you happen to see a ring you like on tv or a picture point it out to him and tell him you just love it and have dreamed of a ring like it. Depends on where you two are at in the pre engagement on how you could discuss it with him passively before he proposes. But before I personally would mention the ring he got you, I would wait until you actually get it. It could be a present. Then afterward discuss that you’d prefer a diamond. I may would come to love it unless like you said it just was not something I could! He obviously got it in hopes you would love it. just my thoughts. Good luck 

Post # 8
Member
333 posts
Helper bee

Any update, op?  

Post # 9
Member
218 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
lf84:  Just chiming in, in solidarity. Last Christmas my wonderful now-husband proposed with a gemstone ring (sapphire) that his mother sent in the mail. It’s a beautiful ring, but I’d always imagined a diamond at the proposal – I’m very traditional, and honestly – I’ve spent a year trying to love the ring, but just can’t get there. It’s not me at all. It also bothers me that my husband didn’t pick out and purchase the ring that represented our commitment (particularly since his mother is so uninvolved in our lives – there’s no warm sentiment attached.) 

It bums me out, but I’ve never told my husband so. We ended up having a custom wedding band made that is my taste, so that holds all of the sentiment for me. I don’t wear the engagement ring all that much. I do wish that he’d approached me about a gemstone ring before proposing – I would have let him know that even a small diamond that he picked out himself would have been far preferable. But that ship has sailed!

Please let us know how it all turns out. My fingers are crossed that it was a Christmas gift, and not your engagement ring!

Post # 10
Member
1701 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
lf84:  

Any update? 🙂

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