- 7 years ago
- Wedding: December 2016
Sorry this is long. 🙁
As some of you may have read a few weeks ago, I have had some “trouble” with my Future Mother-In-Law and the cake situation. Here is the link to the thread if anyone wants the backstory: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/future-mother-in-law-hijacking-wedding-cake
Things worked out ok with the wedding cake dilemma: the bakery that my Future Mother-In-Law researched ended up being everyone’s favorite oddly enough, however, the flavor she was suggesting was actually not a home run with anyone. My fiance fell in love with the chocolate cake, my mom with the amaretto. My mom and I decided to put down a deposit with this bakery because of the high quality, and also, I thought it would please my Future Mother-In-Law. This weekend, however, Future Mother-In-Law insisted on driving 3 hours into town to get a grand tour of the wedding locations, etc. She’s been pressing and pressing this issue for months now. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciated her interest, but I honestly question her motives. Instead of involving me in the visit, asking me questions about what I was planning, colors, centerpieces, etc, making it a bonding experience, I got the feeling she was actually there to “check up” on all of the decisions, as if she didn’t trust mine or my family’s judgement or taste. It was really unnerving. But sadly, not at all surprising.
She requested to tour the church, the reception venue, the hotel (and was even given a private tour of all of the hotel rooms so FIL’s could select what room they wanted), AND …. of course…the most important stop of the tour: the Cake place.
When we arrived, she spoke directly to the owner, who was so pleasant, and thanked us again for our business (my mother and I are paying for the wedding cake, mind you…), and Future Mother-In-Law starts exclaiming “It was my idea!! It was my idea!! I found it!! I’m the one who initially contacted you!!” Ugh. **Eyes rolling** Yes, you did. Thank you very much for that.
Shortly after this, she takes the owner over to the side, and is clearly speaking to him privately, for a very long time, in a low voice, and in her native language (that I don’t speak and only understand on a very basic level). She is talking to him for a very long time, and I started thinking the worst: that she’s changing the wedding cake that my family and I are paying for, or potentially hi-jacking the Groom’s Cake.
I asked my fiance if he knew what she might have been talking to him about, but he did not know. He said though that his mom had mentioned being very excited about the Groom’s Cake…which stopped me dead in my tracks.
I find out that she is planning on doing the Groom’s cake: designing it, paying for it , etc. Which, frankly, is fine with me, because it takes one less expense and worry off of my plate. HOWEVER, I would have liked to have been consulted first at least! And also, I would prefer it to be called “The dessert at the Rehearsal Dinner” haha, rather than a “Groom’s Cake”, because from my understanding, the Groom’s Cake is a Southern tradition that is a gift from the bride to her groom. Knowing this is the origin of the tradition, I feel weird that his Mom is giving him a Groom’s Cake.
Am I correct in thinking a Groom’s Cake is traditionally a gift from the bride to the groom? Or is there another tradition out there that I’m unaware of?
**NOTE: I totally am fine with her taking over, but again, a little disappointed it was not discussed with me at all. But WHATEVER. **exhausted sigh**