(Closed) Discuss birth-control methods with FI or not?

posted 7 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 47
4198 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - Canada

@ALazi:  We’ve always discussed it. The outcome affects us both, so we should both be informed and decide what would work best for our situation.

Post # 48
4424 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

We definitely talked about it and decided what we were comfortable with. When we first started dating (and for almost the first year) we used BC pills and condoms. A year in, we switched to just BC pills and have been that way since then (almost 4 years now). I think talking about it is important for a couple. 

Post # 49
1031 posts
Bumble bee

I was already on the pill when DH and I met. We did have a discussion about it, espeically since I have a sever latex allergy, condoms were kind of out of the questions considering the insane high prices of non-latex variety here. We went with an option that we were both comfortable enough with. When I was changing my pill (did this quite a few times) we always talked abot the pros and cons, and balanced other options (not like there really were any). After baby arrives I’m sure that will open another discussion about birth control.

I would not want to be on something that DH was uncomfortable with or didn’t trust, after he had adequate education on the subject.

If you’re mature enough to be having sex, you should be mature enough to have a proper conversation about preventing an unwanted pregnancy.

Post # 50
2116 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013


My first boyfriend (and i didnt know this untill we broke up) didnt even think i was on birth control…. i was like “are you serious” we never used condoms! i totally would have gotten prego!

But DH was my next boyfriend and i was on the depo shot. for years into our relationship. i never got my peroid. DH or SO at the time, told me he thought that was un natural and i should change so i did. I started to worry that after 5 years on depo… maybe i should. so i tried the patch… no it sucked… then the nuvo ring… it fell out on day without me noticeing. scary as shit.. so that was a no go. finally i decided on the pill. the one thing i tried to put off so wouldnt have to remind myself everyday for a single pill. but now ive been on that for a few years and like it. but i think its good to be open with that. we had even dicussed him helping with the costs since well it keeps him from getting prego too right? haha but i was always low income and then had insurance so we never really did that dutch style. But he reminds me to take it some times. its something we talk about openly from the begining.

i never opted for the IUD or implants because my doctor told me if i never had children before this wasnt a good option for me.

Post # 51
9541 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Absolutely, 100% discussed. We actually even discussed very early on what we would do if our birth control methods failed. I think this is something that affects both people in the relationship, so both should be invested in the decision and making it happen. 

Post # 52
1197 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Definitely. We used to use condoms (for 4 long years!) because Fiance doesn’t trust hormonal birth control. I was finally able to talk him into an IUD. I think its something both partners need to be comfortable using, and thus should be discussed. 

Post # 53
1555 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@ALazi:  We discussed what decisions I had made prior to our relationship, what we plan on doing in the future and how that affects us as a couple. I’m very much a believer that it takes 2 to tango and that it is both of our responsibility to prevent pregnancy when we decide to not conceive and to make sure we’re on the same page when we decide to conceive.

Post # 54
914 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

View original reply
@LindyLu:  same here. NFP and he knows the basics of it but prefers to let me handle the details. Since we abstain during my FW though, it’s a guaranteed conversation every month haha!  We’re both pretty traditional catholics so it was the only doable option. We’re tta now for medical reasons so I’m really glad that we discussed it and he’s on board. It’s one less stressful conversation to have when there are other stresses going on. 

Post # 55
1222 posts
Bumble bee

I’ve discussed it with SO. I was on the pill when we met, but talked to him before switching to the ring, especially since (it being in there and everything) I was concerned he may feel it during sex and wanted his opinion on that possibility. 

Post # 56
1639 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I don’t know why you wouldn’t discuss birth control methods with your partner. Neither of you want babies (I assume, since you’re using bc) and you need to be prepared for the possibility of an accident. You need to know who is doing what, if you will/won’t use condoms, how pills affect you if that’s your thing, etc. And I assume you’d both wanna be tested for STIs before you become intimate.

It seems weird for only one person to decide something that two people participate in.

Post # 57
2268 posts
Buzzing bee

I’ve been taking the pill for the last six years and I really wanted to get off it – I didn’t like the way it affected my weight, my moods and my sex drive – so I decided I wanted to use the NFM method.

I discussed this with my SO and there was no way I would have made this decision and followed it through without his agreement.

Post # 58
1348 posts
Bumble bee

I didn’t know people didn’t discuss these things with their SO’s it’s a matter that affects both partiea, so of course I figured out what we’d be using for bc. 

Post # 59
513 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

@ALazi:  I can’t really remember. I was already on the pill when we started dating, so that wasn’t really an issue. But when we started having sex, I bought the condoms, so I guess I sorta decided for us hahah

Post # 60
283 posts
Helper bee

If he’s going to have sex with me, he’s going to talk about it. I did the research on what I wanted and he looked into the stats, to make sure he was comfortable with how much it would protect us, and we went from there. He brought it up recently, wondering if a change might be good, but we elected to stick with what I’ve got.

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