Post # 1
Member
937 posts
Busy bee
I’d love your opinions on this.
When an engagement ends, who should get the engagement ring? Let me present the common arguments.
The giver gets the ring: In some states, legally an engagement ring comes with an “implied condition”. The ring becomes yours when you complete the agreement and actually get married. If you do not get married, you need to give the ring back to the person who gave it to you.
The recipient keeps the ring: A gift is a gift. You don’t give a gift, then take it back.
Sometimes a recipient pays for the ring partially or in full. Indirectly, a recipient may cover more than their fair share of the bills so their spouse can save for the ring. It can be difficult for a judge to determine if the recipient contributed to the ring. Courts shouldn’t waste money litigating these cases.
Gray Areas : Some courts consider who “broke the contract”. If the giver calls off the engagement, the recipient keeps the ring because you don’t reward the person that broke the contract.
Who keeps the ring if the ring is an heirloom from the giver’s family?
Post # 2
Member
371 posts
Helper bee
- Wedding: November 2018 - City Hall
I voted for “the giver” if it’s an heirloom. And “a gift is a gift”, but honestly, I’m leaning WAY more with “If you broke off the engagement, you don’t keep it.” You broke it off, why would you even want the ring?
Post # 3
Member
4009 posts
Honey bee
I think 99% of the time it should be given back to the giver. I could see keeping the ring and selling it if the giver cheated on the other person after a significant amount of money had been spent of the wedding preparations. I’d sell it as compensation. I think heirlooms should always be given back to the family from which they came. I honestly dont know all the laws regarding these circumstances, so this is all coming from hypothetical emotional responses.
Post # 4
Member
620 posts
Busy bee
Depends on your state justice system.
I don’t need a ring cause i can afford to buy myself my own. I’ll give that back–as it symbolizes nothing but a broken promise to me At that point.
Post # 5
Member
1309 posts
Bumble bee
Law differs depending on where you live. I’m a little troubled that so many of your threads are about breaking up, cheating, divorce, etc. Are you sure about getting married?
Post # 6
Member
1063 posts
Bumble bee
- Wedding: South Lodge. 2nd of Dec 2017
countingstars: simple one for me, the person wearing the ring keeps it, unless and only these two reasons, would make me give it back, I had broken the relationship because of my behaviour, or it was a heirloom. If he broke it off, tough luck I made a promise and had every intention of following through for the rest of my life.
Post # 7
Member
2622 posts
Sugar bee
- Wedding: April 2017 - Hogarths, Solihull
My understanding was that if the giver breaks off the engagement, the receiver keeps the ring as compensation. However, if the receiver breaks it off, it must be returned to the giver.
Post # 8
Member
937 posts
Busy bee
Kaymar: You are the queen bee of reading WAY too far into things. I was actually watching an old episode of Dr. Phil and this topic was discussed.
To me, I say a gift is a gift. I don’t think the courts should have to try to untangle who may have called things off, if the recipient helped pay for the ring, or if the ring was a birthday or Christmas gift.
I think the giver should be able to keep the ring if the ring is an heirloom from his or her family, or if the giver owes money on the ring.
Post # 9
Member
4055 posts
Honey bee
countingstars: if the giver still owes money on it, or if it’s an heirloom, I think the giver should keep it. Actually, TBH, I feel the giver should get it back regardless of the situation.
Post # 10
Member
3607 posts
Sugar bee
Check Westlaw. This situation has probably been covered at some point in all 50 states. (Or if you don’t have a sub, it’s probably on Google too.)
Post # 11
Member
3534 posts
Sugar bee
I grew up with the etiquette rule “who ever breaks the engagement forfeits the ring”.
Actual case law doesn’t not always agree, however.
Post # 12
Member
2846 posts
Sugar bee
If the ring is given in comtemplation of marriage the ring is returned to the giver. I know for a fact, I went to the Judge Judy School of Law!
Post # 13
Member
927 posts
Busy bee
My thoughts are that the person who breaks off the engagement shouldn’t get the ring, UNLESS it was a family heirloom then it should go back to the person to who’s family it belongs.
Post # 14
Member
47432 posts
Honey Beekeeper
countingstars: Why would anyone want to keep an engagement ring from a failed engagement?
It seems a bit money grubber-ish to me.
Post # 15
Member
196 posts
Blushing bee
I read somewhere that if the engagement ring was given at a time where it could be proven it was a present and not just a promise to marry, (Christmas morning, birthday…) the courts consider that to be a gift and not applicable to the usual law.
I don’t know how true that is, but it’s an interesting thought!