(Closed) Discussion: Would you call the cops?

posted 7 years ago in Parenting
  • poll: Would you call the cops on your child if you knew he/she had done something illegal?
    Never. I would never call the cops, no matter what the situation. : (9 votes)
    6 %
    Maybe. It would have to be pretty horrific (i.e. murder, rape, etc.) : (99 votes)
    61 %
    Yes. Everyone needs to have consequences for illegal/dangerous behaviour. : (50 votes)
    31 %
    Other : (5 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1645 posts
    Bumble bee

    Ohhh man. This could quite possibly go down a path you didn’t intend for it to travel. :/

    Post # 4
    Member
    1177 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Definitely if it was something that serious like rape or murder.

    Post # 6
    Member
    690 posts
    Busy bee

    I don’t think I can answer this question because I don’t have kids.  Logically, I can understand feeling either way. 

    Would your opinion change if it was a less clear cut/extreme crime?  For example, if it was theft?  Or if it was murder but your kid was severely provoked?

    Post # 7
    Member
    1645 posts
    Bumble bee

    @MsGolightly: I’m not offended, and I’m sure you had a great discussion, but there’s a chance that this could turn into a “Well that makes you a bad parent!” kind of thread. 

    But maybe I’m just gun-shy. I started a thread that I thought was fun, and I didn’t even give my actual opinion, and it had nothing to do with rape, abortion, politics, or religion, and for the most part people were very civil. 

    And while I may have been surprised by their answers, it never upset me. I never took actual personal offense. Yet somehow two weeks later it got bumped by someone who intentionally found it to start a flame war, and that went on for about a page. I was like “Really, guys?”

    So maybe I’m just gun shy. 

    ETA: I said gun shy twice. lol.

    Post # 10
    Member
    2607 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2009

    I would turn in my spouse or my child if they did something like that.  Ffleeing with your kid, to eventually get caught, (no statute of limitations on murder)…the kid would be sent to prison and then so would you, and what good have you done them?  

    What’s your FH’s stance on if the kid raped someone or molested a child?  Would he still flee?  

    I dunno…fleeing is just exposing the dangerous person to more potential victims and doesn’t really deal with the core issue.

    Prison can be a place where people just learn how to become better criminals, and it’s not always the best answer either.  HOWEVER, I think in the majority of cases, a person doesn’t get to the point that they shoot someone in cold blood like that without SOME kind of warning signs.  How about stepping in and trying to get the kid some mental help BEFORE a crime is committed?

    Post # 12
    Member
    10714 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2012

    If my son murdered someone I’d want to know ‘why’ and go from there… I know most people would say they’d call the cops but honestly I don’t know until that moment comes (which it better never cause I’m trying to raise him better than that). 

    Post # 13
    Member
    743 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I don’t have kids, so I am sure that influences my decision….but I tend to agree with the OP’s Fiance.  I don’t think prison really helps anyone (but hey, that is just me, I could be wrong), and as a parent, I *think* I would be super protective of my kid.

    BUT, I also hope that if I ever had kids, I would be able to ‘step back’ if my kid was a pyschopath (or something)….and either get them help or get them committed…..IDK – I watch too much Law and Order!

    This is a tough question!

    By The Way – when I first read your post, I thought you meant call the cops for someone you don’t know.  When I was a grad student, I lived in an apartment complex with lots of undergrads, and I called the cops a LOT for underage, overly obnoxious drinking parties!

    Post # 14
    Member
    3639 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    @MsGolightly: I think that this topic speaks more to your FI’s opinion on jail rather than parenting.

    Prisoners aren’t utilised to do the kind of public service I think that they should be. Nor are they treated as harshly as I think that they should be. They can study, have air conditioning, reading material, gyms, internet etc. For someone who has committed a series crime, I think that this is far too comfy a lifestyle. 

    Building houses in a developing country etc would contribute so much more. However, it would also mean that your whole family is disrupted, committing a felony and disadvantaged if there are younger children who are taken out of school because the elder one committed a crime and the family is moving to Sudan.

    In the end though, this is certainly a “cross that bridge when you come to it” type situation. The chances of it happening, particularly if you are good parents is very small.

    Post # 15
    Member
    5118 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Wow, what an interesting question/discussion you two had! I would probably call them in for crimes with victims – any murder, rape, aggravated assault, etc. In that case, though, (other than murder) there’s usually someone else working on getting the cops to the kids as well.

    Drinking under age or a little pot, eh, that’d be an issue I’d prefer to initially address with parenting and then rehab, jail/police contact last resort. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    109 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    Interesting subeject! I actually was talking to my fiance about this a couple nights ago and we both agreed that if our children ever did something like murder, rape, or do something extreme that we would find out what on earth possessed them to do whatever they did and after we found out we would drive him/her straight to the police station ourselves. We are both firm believers that if our child ever does something so horrible that they should and WILL be punished for it because consiquences are what help children grow into men/women in my opinion. Now don’t get me wrong I will be very protective of my kids but you have to think of it a different way. Say it was murder, how would you feel if YOUR son or daughter was murdered and you knew the parents covered up for the child that killed yours? Justice should always be seperate from emotion.

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