Post # 1
Goshhhh I’m so annoyed, please bear with me as this is a rant!
This photo of a wedding party of 25 (!!!) popped up on my Facebook from a childhood friend’s wedding this past weekend. Plenty of other photos showed people all over this barnyard wedding; dancing, drinking, no masks and general disregard for social distancing. In their state they were technically allowed to have this gathering with as many people as they wished since it’s a religious gathering blah blah. (https://covid19.ncdhhs.gov/information/individuals-families-communities/community-events)
My grandmother is currently in the hospital due to complications with her stage IV cancer diagnosis (non fatal ATM), while I’m in Europe with almost no chance of visiting due to my visa renewal process being underway. The largest problem with seeing a photo like this, is that this woman works in the medical field in the same city as my grandmother. This newlywed couple still even live in the same neighborhood as her! It hurts so bad to be away from my granny at this point. Then seeing folks like this—who literally shop at her same grocery store and Walgreen’s as her—just drives home how fragile her condition really is.
As a 2020 couple who have had to postpone, I’m also outraged with this couple knowing where they will both be returning to work to, and the selfish thought process that must have happened to arrive at the idea it was fine to have their wedding as planned. I’m absolutely provocted and hate this feeling of wanting to bash her wedding on Facebook and comment, “HOW COULD YOU?!” In so many cases I’ve held my tongue, but this is really hitting close to home. Have any of you commented on things that you don’t agree with?
Post # 2
I’m so sorry for your Gram’s condition! I can’t imagine how powerless that feeling is, and how concerned you must be! Sending good thoughts for a full recovery.
I understand how angry you are feeling, but since this is over and done with, I think negative comments would just cause unnecessary drama since it can’t be changed now. If you need to say something, I wouldn’t comment on the wedding, but maybe just make a post about your gram and a general reminder about COVID elsewhere on your Facebook.
Be prepared to see more of this kind of thing, especially with Fourth of July coming up. I’m in the midwest and you’d think COVID never happened/is happening, everyone is back to business as usual. In the end we can only control ourselves and how we respond to these things. Everyone knows what they should be doing by now.
Post # 3
I agree completely, I’m quite drama averse. Your suggestion of a separate post is good. I’ll have to make a rough draft with all the emotions, and then do a final draft that won’t have as much yelling in it…
Post # 4
I admire your ability to hold your tongue. I would absolutely call them out on it in your shoes, but I appreciate the damage is done and it doesn’t really help (except to make you feel better ha).
It’s not just the bride & groom who are selfish but that entire wedding party and all the guests. Bunch of morons the lot of them, but the wedding photos will go down as historical proof of their collective idiocy during a global pandemic, so you can take small comfort in that.
Post # 5
I’m going to get roasted for this, but I just don’t think it’s okay for you to shame this persons decisions. I understand you chose to postpone your wedding, but they didn’t. Both choices need to be respected. You don’t know the circumstances surrounding this choice. You dont know the circumstances surrounding the wedding night either because you weren’t there. Photos don’t tell the entire story. I’m sure there was some recklessness to be had, but you can’t really determine that without being there. It’s just really frustrating for me to see someone shaming a couple like this. You literally said they are allowed to have this gathering in their state. They aren’t breaking any laws then. So, you wouldn’t do what they did- okay. But, they aren’t actually doing anything wrong legally. There’s no “technically” here as you’ve stated. You’re discounting a huge fact by using that word. They ARE allowed to. That’s the facts. So there’s no need to say “technically they are allowed to, BUT”. There’s no but. It may not align with your own behaviors, but it’s not your life. Does this woman directly interact with your grandmother? It doesn’t seem like it. I understand being emotional over her situation for sure, but you’re piecing together a lot of things that don’t actually go.
if you’re that mad about the post, say something to them…
Post # 6
COVID has really hit home for me how a large segment of the population is stupid, selfish, or both. It is honestly heartbreaking. People don’t seem to understand that even if THEY are willing to “take a chance” with COVID by doing things like this, and keeping it circulating widely, they risk EVERYONE ELSE’S life. It makes it all the more dangerous for people going to the doctor, or the grocery store, or the vet. Not to mention for those people working at the hospital, or the grocery store, or the vet.
Post # 7
While I absolutely don’t agree with this couple’s choice and while I’m very sorry to hear about your grandmother, I don’t agree with you shaming this couple on a social forum. If it’s a childhood friend like you said, it is appropriate for you to have a private conversation with them about your thoughts on this. I would be furious to know that my so-called friend took my Facebook photo and used it to shame me on another forum.
Post # 8
I understand your frustration and that this is a vent, but I don’t think you should have shared this photo even with the faces whited out. You could have made your point just as effectively without it. With reverse google image search, people may be able to identify these individuals.
Post # 9
We actually don’t have to respect people who make selfish, shitty decisions
Post # 10
it’s not okay. You’re response is not okay. I’m not saying having a large wedding is great, fine, dandy let’s all do it, but why is it acceptable for OP, you and others to shame them? Like I said, you don’t know these peoples situation! This is the choice they made. How do you know they’re not quarantining after this? How do you know the venue didn’t take everyone’s temperatures when they got there? How do you know anything beyond the fact that they had a wedding as planned? It’s honestly disgusting how much judgement people will pass. I am also 100% sure that not a single person on this planet is free of making an error during this time in regards to procedures.
Post # 11
I think you’re conflating two issues – one, them going ahead with their wedding when you weren’t able to and your eagerness to see your grandma. However, you don’t know what circumstances the couple are in, it might appear a selfish decision to you but you’ve said they’re in a state where this isn’t illegal. It’s therefore likely that the couple weren’t able to cancel without losing a chunk of money. You might have personally lost the money but your circumstances are different to theirs. They made their assessment of risk and their personal circumstances, which presumably their guests also did.
I’m sorry you can’t see your grandma at the moment. Especially at a time like this but that isn’t their fault.
Post # 12
Removing a personal photo of the couple because that is against the TOS.
This site is not for wedding shaming regardless of the situation.