- 7 years ago
I am. I’ve been married almost six months. We didn’t live together beforehand, I’ve never lived on my own before. I would stay with him most weekends, but like everyone says “it’s not the same”.
1) I knew he looooved sex but not to the point of just being in a crabby mood when we don’t have any. Or bringing it up so often to the point I get turned off. It really makes me feel bad, like if I don’t “give him sex” he’ll be in a “mood”. Not mean, just “down”. Pouty down. I’ve heard of men doing this, but I feel like I’m dating my highschool boyfriend again or something. I feel almost used in a way. I know men enjoy sex, but I can’t just turn it on and off all the time. We talked about this issue, and the talking about it all the time has lessened, but the moodiness hasn’t. It’s like, if he didn’t hand me his credit card to go shopping would it be cool for me to sit around and pout about it? Sex is totally important but his attitude about it is off-putting. So all in all I enjoy sex, think about it probably just as much, but his attitude about things turn me OFF sexually.
2) He can be really messy. The first two or three months I spent picking up after him, which I don’t MIND, because I’m not technically working. But when you spend almost all day cooking and cleaning (I sound like a cliche already) and then a person just comes home and throws their crap all over the place (habitually, not in a purposeful way)? Sigh. I just gave up after awhile. He has a cats which I love, but I guess it’s the adjustment of them being around making their own mess and scratching everything. It’s a never-ending job to clean this place, it messes up EVERYDAY and we have no kids!!
3) His family can be really offputting sometimes. And weird. And it just hit me during the holidays that, yeah, I need to see them more often. From his a-hole brother to his clingy sis in law I’m like “Oh. Shit. This is my family now.”
4) He only talks to me about sports or some other mundane garbage that I wish he would talk to his MALE friends about. I like more meaningful conversations and we used to have them but I guess seeing each other everyday now it’s just so like blah.
We’ve dated for years, but as I’ve said we would mostly go out, I would spend a weekend with him, talk during the week. But the day to day everyday is like so mundane.
Back to the sex, I feel it’s a sudden problem, I am not always in the mood, and it’s just a lot of things are a turn off for me. We spoke about this but I don’t think he GETS it.
Ugh I feel very whiny and icky.