Post # 1
So, I have just been disinvited as a bridesmaid in my friend’s wedding. I was disinvited because she wanted to have smaller numbers in her wedding, NOT because I did something horrific like sleep with her fiance. But, instead of kicking me out completely, she then asked if I would sing in her wedding. What should I do? I am incredibly hurt by her disinviting me as a bridesmaid, and I’m afraid it’s going to feel even more awkward singing for her wedding and watching all the bridesmaids walk down the aisle in front of me let alone being part of the rehearsal and wedding festivities and feeling out of place. Very weird situation. Help!
Post # 3
@littleladyinlove: UMMMM, no. dont go. It is that simple!
Post # 4
I would not go, also the friendship would be on the rocks.
Post # 5
@littleladyinlove: um. If she has room for a singer she has room for a Bridesmaid or Best Man.. Don’t go. Just say sorry, but you’ll come as a guest or something.
Post # 6
Umm. I would also be hurt, but I don’t think I would say no to singing.
I mean, it really depends on how close you are and how “nicely” she asked you to step down from the wedding.
But I am Mexican, so that might be a cultural thing.
I wouldn’t say no just out of spite. Even if someone hurts me, I like to be a bigger person. If you don’t want to do it though, if you’ll feel unconfortable doing it, don’t.
Post # 7
Yikes! I would be pretty offended. I guess it depends on what relationship you want to have with the bride from this point on.
If you still consider her to be one of your best friends, then sing at the wedding.
If you’re not sure, tell her you’ll come to the wedding, but don’t really want to take part…just be a guest.
If you’re royally ticked and don’t know about keeping the relationship, don’t go to the wedding at all.
Post # 8
@AnaA: That’s the icing on the cake: she asked me to “step down” on a street corner in a major city while she was on her way to hang out with some friends. Literally a five minute conversation. The whole thing was so bizarre I’m still trying to digest it!
Post # 9
@littleladyinlove: She’s probably trying to make herself better about disinviting you by giving you a “special role”. If you don’t want to sing but still want to attend as a guest, I don’t see anything wrong with declining her request.
Or just don’t go at all.
Post # 10
@littleladyinlove: Yikes that sucks! Tell her you are going to think about it and make your choice after this little shock has passed, I guess.
She might have her reasons, I mean, it was a very wrong thing to do (specially HOW she did it), but there are always two sides of the story.
What about having a talk about it, if you are close?
Post # 11
I’d definitely pass, and would definitely reevaluate my friendship with her. By reevaluate, I mean end.
Post # 12
Pass! How rude. She should have thought about her numbers before she asked everyone to be a bridesmaid. Re-evaluate the friendship, for sure.
Post # 13
I’ve got to disagree with PPs (Previous Posters) about questioning or ending the friendship. She could have been pressured by family, or her fiance, to change the bridal party. Perhaps she excitedly asked too many girls. It’s still a bad way to treat you, but I wouldn’t end a friendship over it.
But I agree with PPs that I would decline to sing. Only do that if you’re comfortable, which you’re obviously not. I would tell her that you’d simply rather attend as a guest.
Post # 14
I think you need to tell her how you feel and then go from there.
Post # 15
Was anyone else disinvited? And i would be weird doing it… I would say no.
Post # 16
I would tell her how I feel for sure. I also wouldn’t sing for her. I’m sorry but I don’t think having a “job” in someone’s wedding is an honor.