(Closed) Dismal failure seducing my FI–insights?

posted 7 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
1761 posts
Buzzing bee

Aww. I hate when that happens! I think women are sometimes too subtle in their seduction. You probably would have been better off just walking in the door and immediately dropping the coat, lol. Try being more overt next time and see if that helps. Men aren’t as smart as us πŸ˜‰

Post # 4
Member
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Yeah that’s kind of a disheartening response… I don’t know about insights. Maybe just stress? Either way I’d be highly upset.

Post # 5
Member
1046 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Maybe he’s just not in the mood after getting such bad news, I wouldn’t take it too personal. 

Post # 6
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

Yeah, I would say next time, immediately drop the coat rather than walking around the house with him…

Post # 7
Member
2512 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Aww that kinda sucks.

I bet he was just stressed… don’t feel too shabby about it.

Next time show up in a parka and snow pants and make a joke about trying harder to seduce him πŸ˜›

Post # 8
Member
1835 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I’m so sorry πŸ™ I know how it feels. You want to just walk in and drop the coat but you’re so worried maybe you won’t get the reaction you hope for, your mind starts racing, etc. So you wait…. which dampens the mood. bleh. He just had a bad day. I’m sure he’ll put the moves on you sooner or later πŸ˜‰

Post # 9
Member
3142 posts
Sugar bee

oh my f-ing god!  Are you kidding me?  He said that?  I would have been so pissed I would have given him a good crap flinging and then left.

And who the hell are men to say that anyways?  Half the time they thinking unbuttoning our pants is seduction (not with my Fiance thank god. He’s French and is a master of suduction)

I mean.. he probably just wasn’t in the mood so he was blowing your off.  THAT is okay, but not insulting you.

Sorry… I’m a fiesty woman and I’m ticked off for you!

Post # 10
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I wouldn’t take it personally, either.

Lots of men (and maybe your Fiance is one of them) don’t feel hugely sexual when they’ve had a professional setback.

Maybe have a chat with him and ask what would make him feel better in these sorts of situations and let him know that the way he responded was a bit harsh.

Post # 11
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

Ok first off A+ for effort!!!

Now any other day he probably would have been all for that. He was prolly just still down from the lack of promotion. Dont let this get you down. You both had a long day him obvioulsy and you driving.. After a long week. I wouldnt stress over this to much it happens.

Post # 12
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Since you planned to seduce, the action was up to you. Not him to respond to your leg showing.

What seducing means to him: you come in, drop your coat grab his head, pull his hair a bit and pull him in for a long hard passionate kiss, grab his package and go from there. Now if you get turned down from that… then there’s an issue.

Post # 13
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Oneeleven: I second this!

I’d be rather pissed, too!  Of course, my Fiance is really good at seduction as well, and, welllll…. I’ve learned my own techniques πŸ˜‰  

When all else fails, I’ll toss my hands and go “well, FINE!  Be that way! *I’m* going to bed!”  and act insulted as I strut my stuff to towards the bedroom….. he typically catches me, kisses me, is laughing and then teases me about it.  We’re weird, I know! But it works πŸ˜‰  especially when nothing else works.

 

I can understand and see him being upset about loosing out on the promotion.  However, that’s NO reason to insult you, especially after having the courage to SHOW UP IN NOTHING BUT LINGERIE!!!!!  Geez.  Rude, nasty, and totally uncalled for!  Especially if he “knew” you weren’t wearing anything else.  

Do not blame you at all for not feeling up to anything, especially after that verbal slap to the face.

Post # 14
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@vmec: lmao!  yeah, that would fit several guys I know! LOL!

sorry your seduction didn’t work out, OP!  Hopefully there will be a next time for you to “perfect” your technique (or at least do something that HE would call “better”….)

Post # 15
Member
3758 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Yea, I wouldn’t take it personally… surprisingly men are sometimes just really not in the mood. my Fiance is generally a touchy feely person and is always trying to seduce me. but there have been times that I could probably dance naked in front of him and he just wouldn’t really care LOL… Sure, it hurts when you have basically been “rejected” but sometimes it happens.

Post # 16
Member
1253 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@vmec: Like.

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