Disregarding Tradition–Who SHOULD Pay for the Bridesmaids Dresses?

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Who Should Pay for the Bridesmaid's Dress?
    The Bride : (98 votes)
    66 %
    The Bridesmaid : (51 votes)
    34 %
    Other : (0 votes)
  • Post # 46
    Member
    383 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2020 - Windermere, Cumbria

    EU bee here, when my BFF got married I paid for my own Bridesmaid or Best Man dress. However, she was broke (her and her hubby were both unfortunately unemployed at the time of the wedding and they have 2 kids), and she chose dresses for us that cost 30€ from eBay, so it was hardly a massive issue.

    Post # 47
    Member
    743 posts
    Busy bee

    Chrissielisabet :  

    “Okay but what if you just give them a color and tell them to pick whatever they want?”

    <div style=”overflow: hidden; color: #000000; background-color: #ffffff; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;”>From what I’ve seen, wouldn’t solve anything. Someone would still find something to be upset about. Whether it be the shoes, the hair, if the significant other is seated at the head table,  issues would still come up. Regardless of who pays or who picks out the wedding attendants attire conflics and hurt feelings would probably happen. If there’s a way to have a wedding particularly with bridesmaids and groomsmen with no issue I’d love to hear about it. Even if you did omit the Bridesmaids and Groomsmen people would still be upset because they weren’t asked.</div>
    <div style=”overflow: hidden; color: #000000; background-color: #ffffff; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;”>When I decided to get married about 20 years ago, I at first didn’t want any attendants at all. At that point and time my mother kept at me telling me all about much I would regret it if we didn’t have attendants.   My husband really wanted his brother to be the best man, particularly since my husband had been his brother’s best man months before. So we decided we would each have one honor attendant. I thought I was brilliant and had the perfect solution to all the Bridesmaid issues I’d heard about from friends.  I thought if you didn’t have the bridesmaids then you woudln’t have bridesmaid issues. I was SO wrong!  I called my mother, told her I was going to have a honor attendant and she was thrilled! Until she found out that my honor attendant was not to be my sister as Maid/Matron of Honor, but my cousin as my best man. I got heck for doing this when people didn’t like it for one reason or another just like people think that they bridesmaids shouldn’t have to pay for their own attire and accessories. No matter what  you do, no matter what the rules are someone is not going to like it and have a argument as to why their way is best. Just seems to be human nature.</div>

    • This reply was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by  keepingitreal8675309. Reason: reminding mself I was not the brillant bride I thought I was about 20 years ago
    Post # 48
    Member
    2166 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I’ve experienced both. We paid for their dresses for my wedding, another wedding I was in the bride contributed $100 toward our dresses so about half price, and the most recent one I was in, I had to buy my own and from a particular online shop to make sure the fabrics matched. I wasn’t upset in either of the scenarios I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man for, the contribution was fantastic and the online shop had varied prices on gowns so all was well. 

    Post # 49
    Member
    5101 posts
    Bee Keeper

    US over here. I paid for mine as a Bridesmaid or Best Man and didn’t think twice. My girls paid for their own. But if I really sit and think it is kind of a strange tradition. But I fully expect to be buying my own Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses in the future. 

    I say go ahead and keep with tradition if that is the usual in your group but don’t let it get in the way of a friend being in your bridal party. If one cannot afford a dress for example offer to pay. And keep budget in mind. I tried to find ones that were under $100. That was very hard. 

     

     

    Post # 50
    Member
    337 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2019

    I think the Bridesmaid or Best Man should pay for their own dress, but I also think BMs shouldn’t be expected to give a gift. 

    If someone invited me to a formal affair and I accepted, I wouldn’t expect them to pay for my gown. 

    Post # 51
    Member
    257 posts
    Helper bee

    I’m in Canada and I’ve never heard of a bride paying for bridesmaids dresses. Part of agreeing to be a bridesmaid is understanding the costs associated. All my maids expressed this quite vocally when I suggested I would pay for various pieces, they had no problem spending the money. That’s part of what you signed up for!

    The right thing to do in this case is to ask each girl their budget they’re comfortable with and find a dress that fits within that budget. I did this with my girls and they had zero expectation that I would pay for their dresses.

    Post # 52
    Member
    4 posts
    Wannabee
    • Wedding: August 2017

    My husband is English and so part of our wedding party was English also. He paid for the suit rental for his groomsmen and I paid for the bridesmaid and flower girl dresses. When it came to accessories I had the maids and flower girls bring/buy their own. I wasn’t picky, the jewelry had to be simple and the shoes had to be in a neutral color. Most girls used what they already had, one of my bridesmaids reused her wedding shoes. Since our party was spread out all over the world and everyone had to travel we didn’t want to burden them with extra costs. 

    Post # 53
    Member
    4 posts
    Wannabee
    • Wedding: August 2017

    Chrissielisabet :  NOPE! I was the Maid/Matron of Honor at my Best Friends wedding and she did this. She picked a color that looked terrible on the entire wedding party and is really hard to find outside of bridal salons. So now I spent $200 after alterations on a dress that I hate and will never wear again. If you’re going to dictate what your party needs to wear you need to buy it. 

    Post # 54
    Member
    65 posts
    Worker bee

    I’ve been in several weddings and have always bought my own. Never bat an eye. I thought that’s just what you did

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