Post # 1
I have a quick question. First here is the back story. My fiance’s best friend is getting married and he has been asked to be the best man. The Bride doesn’t seem to like me too much and she has made it pretty clear. Now the wedding is getting close, so events are starting to happen. Now I don’t expect to be a part of the wedding in any way, I know my place is to just be there and wait for my fiance to be done with his duties as best man. But my concern is that she specifically leaves me out of things when I consider my fiance and I to be a packaged deal, like I would consider them to be a packaged deal. Tomorrow the couple has asked my fiance to go to the bride’s father’s house for dinner so he can meet him and to take pictures of the couple, my fiance is a photographer btw. To me I think this is a little disrespectful to not even be asked? I’m okay with letting this little thing slide but my concern is that she is going to continue to invite my fiance to things and not me and I feel like it is completly disrespectful. The dinner my fiance was invited to isn’t even a wedding event. Is the bride to be being disrespectful to us as a couple?
Post # 3
I think the word I would use is incosiderate, rather than disrespectful, if she is purposely excluding you. But, you shouldn’t jump to conclusions or let it upset you. All of this will be over in a very short time and you won’t ever have to think about it again.
Post # 4
If that’s the only oversight right now, I think you’re being paranoid. But if it continues, maybe your Fiance could bring up the situation to his friend.
Post # 5
I would wait and see how it goes and then have your Fiance say something…I’m also spiteful, so I’d purposelt disclude her from my wedding events if she does the same 😉
Post # 6
I honestly dont think that if this isnt a wedding event and that he has been asked to take photos(and thats his job) that is makes perfect sense for you not to be there.
Also you have to consider it is not there house he is invited to it is her Fathers house so isn’t it up to him who comes to dinner?
Do you have any idea that this may be in some way a chance for him to get a job out of this meeting?Could there possibly be soeone else attending that is looking for a photographer?
I think we and you are missing to much information to make a decision on wheather this is a shady move or not. Sorry just a honest opinion
Post # 7
I agre with the majority that this I should wait to see how things go down the line.
@Gavinsmamma- I see your point, but it was the bride who decided to invite my fiance and not the father. I wish this was a chance for my fiance to get a job but he had to convince them to take photos and they used this as an excuse. My fiance is not the photographer at the wedding, which I would agree is the right choice. But they know we don’t have any money and it would be really helpful letting us take photos so we can include them in our portfolio, the business is half mine as well. At the wedding I plan on bringing up we have a photography business in conversation, because he will be too busy with the groom.
Post # 8
To me it sounds like the dinner is more along the lines of “work related” rather than wedding related. In that particular case I would say you are being paranoid as work related things don’t necessary mean you should/would be invited.
I would just keep an eye out and see if things get worse. So far I don’t think you really have a reason to feel disrespected.
Post # 9
Thank you for the feedback everyone
Post # 10
Maybe she just didn’t think through the invitations for the dinner. It is rude, but it might be completely unintentional. I would give her the benefit of the doubt for now.
Post # 11
No. I wouldn’t let yourself get bothered, or you might start projecting your feelings. Try to let it go and enjoy yourself when you are involved.
Post # 12
My now Fiance and I had been together longer than a friend of his and his fiancee when he was asked to be a groomsman…
Any small thing I would not go to…
but i always got invites to wedding showers, bachelorettes etc…….
Post # 13
They’re inviting him as their wedding photographer, so no, I don’t think you need an invite. I don’t think it’s a regular thing to also meet with a photog’s wife/ partner, unless she is his second shooter. If this also happens with something like the rehearsal dinner, take issue, otherwise, I wouldn’t worry about this one.
Post # 14
I can kinda see you point, but at the same time she is probably thinking there is no need for you to be there.
Post # 15
He’s there to work (take pictures). I don’t understand why you think you should be invited. I think you’re creating drama where there doesn’t need to be any.
Post # 16
But if we are talking disrespectful then-
@Ms.Violet: “At the wedding I plan on bringing up we have a photography business in conversation, because he will be too busy with the groom. “
I think that pimping your business at someones wedding that you are not employed at is disrespectful (and probably would be even if you were employed by them b/c you are there to work not drum up business). Sure if someone asks what you do then you can say a bit about your work but solicating new clients at a friends wedding is over the line in my opinion.