(Closed) Disrespect?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Is the bride being disrespectful by including my fiance and not me when we are a packaged deal?
    Yes, she is being rude. : (36 votes)
    53 %
    No, I'm being paranoid. : (32 votes)
    47 %
  • Post # 3
    1093 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I think the word I would use is incosiderate, rather than disrespectful, if she is purposely excluding you. But, you shouldn’t jump to conclusions or let it upset you. All of this will be over in a very short time and you won’t ever have to think about it again.

    Post # 4
    13251 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    If that’s the only oversight right now, I think you’re being paranoid.  But if it continues, maybe your Fiance could bring up the situation to his friend. 

    Post # 5
    2414 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I would wait and see how it goes and then have your Fiance say something…I’m also spiteful, so I’d purposelt disclude her from my wedding events if she does the same 😉

    Post # 6
    339 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I honestly dont think that if this isnt a wedding event and that he has been asked to take photos(and thats his job) that is makes perfect sense for you not to be there.

    Also you have to consider it is not there house he is invited to it is her Fathers house so isn’t it up to him who comes to dinner?

    Do you have any idea that this may be in some way a chance for him to get a job out of this meeting?Could there possibly be soeone else attending that is looking for a photographer?

    I think we and you are missing to much information to make a decision  on wheather this is a shady move or not. Sorry just a honest opinion

    Post # 8
    11166 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    To me it sounds like the dinner is more along the lines of “work related” rather than wedding related. In that particular case I would say you are being paranoid as work related things don’t necessary mean you should/would be invited.

    I would just keep an eye out and see if things get worse. So far I don’t think you really have a reason to feel disrespected.

    Post # 10
    5657 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2012

    Maybe she just didn’t think through the invitations for the dinner. It is rude, but it might be completely unintentional. I would give her the benefit of the doubt for now.

    Post # 11
    7770 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    No.  I wouldn’t let yourself get bothered, or you might start projecting your feelings.  Try to let it go and enjoy yourself when you are involved.

    Post # 12
    967 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    My now Fiance and I had been together longer than a friend of his and his fiancee when he was asked to be a groomsman…

    Any small thing I would not go to…

    but i always got invites to wedding showers, bachelorettes etc…….


    Post # 13
    1189 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2010

    They’re inviting him as their wedding photographer, so no, I don’t think you need an invite. I don’t think it’s a regular thing to also meet with a photog’s wife/ partner, unless she is his second shooter. If this also happens with something like the rehearsal dinner, take issue, otherwise, I wouldn’t worry about this one.

    Post # 14
    10453 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2014

    I can kinda see you point, but at the same time she is probably thinking there is no need for you to be there. 

    Post # 15
    10366 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    He’s there to work (take pictures). I don’t understand why you think you should be invited. I think you’re creating drama where there doesn’t need to be any.

    Post # 16
    8682 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    @crayfish:  This  

    But if we are talking disrespectful then-

    @Ms.Violet:  “At the wedding I plan on bringing up we have a photography business in conversation, because he will be too busy with the groom. “

    I think that pimping your business at someones wedding that you are not employed at is disrespectful (and probably would be even if you were employed by them b/c you are there to work not drum up business). Sure if someone asks what you do then you can say a bit about your work but solicating new clients at a friends wedding is over the line in my opinion.

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