Post # 61
missjewels: I don’t care how your friend feels about babies, she is kind of jerk for dictating a topic off limits and not giving a crap that you’re not feeling well. I certainly don’t like it when my friends endlessly talk about their pregnancies/children but I put up with it for a little while and then gently change the subject. Because I love them, and I care about the things they care about.
Post # 62
Maybe she just can’t tolerate the knowledge that your relationship with her will inevitably change when you have a baby. Some people suck at expressing their fears and wil do anything to avoid doing so.
Post # 63
So just to post a newer update…she is coming next week for her visit since she is out of town. She asked if we had any plans, I said honestly we hadn’t discussed it yet since Darling Husband has been working alot and I have been having alot of pelvic pain and Darling Husband and I are trying to get me off work early (I am 32 weeks). She said “ok, well talk to him and tell me what you are gonna plan for my visit” so I said most likely it will be low key at home since I can’t really walk alot due to the pain and then when I am at work on the monday he will take her out somewhere….she didn’t even reply.
How does a friend know your in so much pain you are going toa doctor to get off work early and are having trouble walking and they don’t even comment on it, or ask how are you doing, can I do anything. She doesn;t even reply. just wants to know what we are plannign for her visit. I am just at a loss. I guess I can be thankful she didn’t tell me to shut up cause I was talking about baby again.
Post # 64
I’m sorry she is being completely ridiculous. Why do you have to act like a performing monkey and schedule a bunch of events for her when she comes? She should just be there to hang out with you!
Post # 65
Have you made an attempt to understand WHY she’s this way about babies? I know you feel like you’re losing a friend and that she’s a total bitch, but you’ve told us that she’s uncomfortable with baby talk and doesn’t want to talk about it, but then are upset when she doesn’t want to talk about your morning sickness, nursery colors or pelvic pain.
I know that it’s natural to want your friends to share with you in this HUGE experience, but if we know well enough that our friends dont want to talk about or weddings, how do we not know well enough to understand that our friends dont want to talk about our pregnancies?
It’s not like she’s made a deal to be wholeheartedly excited and involved in your pregnancy and is now changing it up – she’s told you that this is not her thing, she’s not comfortable talking about it, and I assume that you accepted those terms, as she’s soon visiting, and yet your pregnancy and what surrounds it comes up. I know that at this moment your pregnancy is dictating your life – how you get around, if you can get out of bed, what you can do, etc – but in her defense, she has been nothing but up-front, open and honest with the fact that for whatever reason, pregnancy makes her uncomfortable and she doesn’t want to discuss it – and she has not changed her mind or gone back on the deal – and yet when you speak with her and are having pregnancy related problems or things that are making you unable to see her/hang out with her, you could be violating an agreement that you previously made with her to not discuss the pregnancy. If that was something you were uncomfortable with or could not do for her you should have told her from the beginning – she told you from the beginning that she didn’t want to talk about your pregnancy, and she’s done everything she said she would do since that moment – have you?
Post # 66
I think she is rude and doesn’t care about what is going on in your lives. She can’t forbid you to talk about the baby this is a huge part of your lives. If she can’t deal then maybe it’s time to start looking for new friends.
Post # 67
That does sound weird and would make me very upset. Then again she sounds like Samantha from Sex and the City lol. I’m sorry. That sucks! Maybe she’ll be different when the baby comes.
Post # 68
missjewels: Have you ever told her how you feel? If you’re that close to her you should be able to talk to her about it. Maybe there’s a reason she’s so weird about it or maybe she’s extremely self-absorbed and needs to be told where to go until she shows more support.
Post # 69
So was last weekend the weekend she came to visit? How did it go? Hope it went well (but not that optimistic that it did…), and hope your pelvic pain is improving.
Feel free to start another update thread 😉