Post # 1
I’d like to start out by saying that I’m really excited to be engaged, and I can’t wait to marry Mr. L.
But – I can’t help but feel disapointed with the proposal – or really, lack thereof. We’ve been talking about getting married for over a year now, and one day he sent me an email at work saying “Let’s go pick out an engagement ring”. So we did, and now we’re engaged. But there was no romantic proposal, no weekend getaway, no flowers, no dinner, no proclamation of love, nothing. Things just went on as they normally do.
Am I being silly for being disapointed with this?
Post # 3
no thats not silly at all, id be really disappointed too, Im sorry ♥
Post # 4
My cousin had a similar situation happen to her. 14 years later they have a beautiful marriage and she has an uber romantic hubby. I think some guys just don’t realize how important a proposal is to us. You’re not silly for being disappointed but, look at the bigger picture. You are engaged to someone you love.
Post # 5
Did you talk to him about this or indicate that you were hoping for some sort of romantic proposal?
Romance is wonderful, but it isn’t what makes a relationship work. I can understand why you are disappointed and your Fiance most likely is a very steady, solid individual who had no idea you needed the romance. Talk to him. I’m sure he would be willing to make up for it somehow.
Just remember that just because you have the most romantic proposal in the world, doesn’t mean your marriage is guaranteed to work out. The proposal is no indication of his love for you… rather, its what he thinks you wanted. He probably thought you would be happy with the ring with no bells and whistles.
Post # 6
I’m sorry you are disappointed, and it’s ok to feel that way, but just think about all the fun moments you can share as husband and wife!
Post # 7
It depends. My parents did that, except minus the engagement ring. They are happily married – the proposal doesn’t make or break your happiness. So I wouldn’t get attached to one moment (or a lack of that moment), but rather look at the bigger picture. Is there a longer term issue of you wanting more romance in the relationship than he provides? Have you often been unhappy with a lack of flowers, loving words, etc. If so, then maybe you should talk to him using the proposal incident as an example, and figure out a way that you two can meet in the middle on this. If you are otherwise content with the way he treats you, I might let this go.
Post # 8
I don’t think you’re being silly if its important to you. For many people, the proposal is an important milestone- and I can understand feeling a little cheated, or as if you’ve missed out on it. Maybe you should discuss it with him and do something nice to celebrate your engagement together- have a romantic dinner, or a weekend getaway, and just celebrate your engagement!
Post # 9
The biggest question is Are you happy? If yes then you didn’t need a big proposal.
Remember the most important thing is deciding to spend the rest of your life with the person you love.
Post # 10
Thanks for all of your responses!
I am very happy, and very in love. I did tell him I was disappointed that he didn’t make a bigger deal out of it, but he hasn’t offered any romantic “make-ups” if you will. I guess I just need to make my position more clear to him.
Post # 11
My now-husband and i picked out the ring and he “proposed” that same night. He had been away for five-weeks and I guess that trip was the push he needed to make the next big step. After all my bugging it seemed silly to wait for a “surprise” proposal…plus we were on a weekend get-a-way at the time so it was perfect locale. Do I wish I had this really big proposal story? Sure, sometimes I do. But the proposal doesn’t make a marriage.
Post # 12
I think Ms. IPhone is right. Some guys just do not realize how important a special proposal is to us. I know I would be super dissappointed if i were in your shoes too. But maybe Mr. L will surprise you with something else or in some other way! I’m sure that a lackluster proposal is just going to be a doorway to a wonderful marriage for you both. =)
Post # 13
I’d consider that a proposal. 🙂 Weren’t you excited to recieve it? I bet he was nervous as hell to type that and press send.
Post # 14
I know exactly how you feel. I have a Mr. L too… literally! We had been talking about it for so long and we picked out the ring one Friday night. They told me that night when it would be ready to pick up so I sorta knew when he would get it. We went out to dinner and then came home. There was no “surprise” and no fancy romantic gesture. Just a sit on the couch and pass it over. I feel like I was cheated too, but in the end I do have the guy.
Also think back to the first time he said he wanted to marry you. How did you feel? I know I was amazed… it was as if he had proposed right there, without the ring (which came 7 agonizing months later!!!)
Tell him you want to celebrate with a romantic meal or weekend… I’m sure he would oblige. He loves you 🙂
Post # 15
Why don’t you just tell him you want a romantic proposal? He can still do it, even post-ring. We picked a ring, date, and venue before Fiance proposed. I warned him a long time ago that no cute proposal was not cool, but he didn’t want to pick the ring without me. It was still great and he got major props from my friends for how he proposed, and it was a total surprise.
Post # 16
I don’t think it’s silly to be disappointed, after all the stories you hear and movies etc it can be hard not to expect something a bit bigger than an email and a shopping trip. But if you hadn’t talked about it beforehand then maybe he didn’t think it was a big deal and that you were one of those couples who didn’t need a proposal (there’s lots of them – my happily married parents for one!). Maybe you could suggest a weekend away to celebrate your engagement together and make it more like a joint proposal 🙂