(Closed) Distant Bridesmaid/Friend (long)

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
642 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

You need to be honest with her and not with an email or a text but in person. Tell her how you are feeling about things and stress to her that you are sad because you feel like you are losing a friendship which is very important to you.

I wouldn’t mention the bridesmaid thing yet. I would try and work on the friendship first. You have a lot of time between now and your wedding date and you need to make sure that she can be there for you whole heartedly before you invite her to be in your Wedding Party.  Things will work out they way that they are supposed to as long as you can both be honest to yourselves and each other. Good luck.

Post # 4
373 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Ugh, this is really difficult.  I have had friends do similar things after getting married.  Suddenly, the become very condescending . . . I don’t get it.  I think that often people who felt insecure in their singleness want to lord it over singles now that they are married.  Some friends I had who were incredibly close to me while we were single suddenly became superior once married, saying things like, “Marriage matures you in a way you just can’t understand when you’re single — and Miss Mochaccino, you may never understand if you don’t get married”.  And things like, “Perhaps someday you, too, will be able to experience this type of relationship.”  And on and on it goes. 

Like pp said, talk to your friend, and ask her if anything is up; ask if there’s anything you could be doing to be a better friend to her, or of there’s anyting you’ve done and not tried to make right.  See what she says.  Her response to a direct conversation should tell you a lot about whether she wants the friendship to work and values it, or whether she’s treating you poorly. 

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