(Closed) Distant childhood friends parents still close friends

posted 4 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
3259 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

That’s definitely a tough situation. I definitely get where you’re coming from — you want a small wedding, and that absolutely means not inviting distant childhood friends. But from an etiquette standpoint, I am just really not sure that you can invite the parents without their adult child. If you want to, go for it, but expect that most people involved will be upset (but don’t necessarily let that stop you from doing what you want to do).

How many people are we talking about here? Are these distant friends of yours all married with families of their own? I say that because perhaps you could invite the parents and include their child’s name on the invite. But that wouldn’t work so well if their child is married with children and moved out ten years ago.

Also, maybe reiterate to your parents that you want a small wedding? If they’re paying you can’t stop them from inviting their friends, but maybe they’ll choose to respect your wishes and cut a few of their friends off the invite list.

Post # 3
1217 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
madamebee :  Your predicment isn’t isolated to those that grew up in small towns.  I grew up in a big suburb and I have the same thing going on with my parents.  One of my mom’s best friends, who she talks to weekly, is a friend of a girl I went to elementary school with, but who I was only good friends with for a couple of years.  Some friendships don’t last forever, and some do.  It’s a shame if your parents are upset that you’re still not friends with their friend’s daughter.

We are having a smaller wedding as well.  My mom is inviting this friend that I mentioned above, but her daughter is not being invited.  I don’t think there says anything ettiquette wise that I *have* to invite the daughter.  She’s married and doesn’t live at home any more so it’s not like I would be excluding some members of the same household.  Now if she was still at home, that could be a bit stickier.

I think you’re in your right not to invite the distant friends.

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