(Closed) Distressed about a friend.

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
1853 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Just reply back with, “Actually, I had a miscarriage. The D&C wasn’t for an abortion, but thanks for the concern, friendsname.”

She sounds fucking nuts now. Sorry, I have a friend that went weird like this suddenly as well.

Post # 4
523 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Awww, I’m so sorry 🙁 That’s such a hard situation and I don’t know if there’s anything you CAN do at this point (at least nothing I can see). She obviously has so much baggage of her own that she has used faith (or her own version of faith, because there’s very little at least I see in the bible that would condone her treating you like that or preaching on facebook!) as a crutch and has blocked out all of the positive people in her life, including you. 

I know you have to choose for yourself what to do, but I personally would remove that post from my timeline, call her (or facebook private message if that’s the only route and she won’t answer your calls) and tell her that you care about her dearly and still love her, but that she should know it’s entirely innapropriate to write things like that on your Facebook–ESPECIALLY since they aren’t true and that was such a sensitive time in your life. I would also say that if she continues to, you are going to block her, not because you don’t love her but because she needs to learn that no matter what’s going on in her own head, that’s not appropriate. 

After that, I really think all you can do is love her from a distance and be there if she ever comes back for you. This, to me, seems like a situation that she’s in very deep and she will have to realize for herself how to get out of it–others can tell her a million times but if she doesn’t realize, she won’t ever come out of it. 

Again, I’m so sorry you’re in this terrible situation and hope it all works out, even though it may take years for her to hopefully change her life again. 

Post # 6
983 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

@HelleCat:  Oh yikes. I’m really sorry, that must be so hurtful. I’d put some distance and not engage with her so much. Her sister must be equally upset, maybe you two could support one another. I know you love her but she’s not who she used to be, at least not at the moment. I’d tell her simply that you’ll always be there for her, put some distance between the two of you and hope that eventually she’ll come back to you. You can’t make her change and if this is a phase  or simply a chapter of her life, she’ll have to get there on her own. 

Post # 8
756 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Ugh that is so awful. I can’t believe anyone could be that insensitive and misunderstand the world so deeply. I think you have to give up on her on facebook in particular. You can block her stories from coming up on your timeline, and delete the post where she mentioned your miscarriage. Maybe if you stop engaging with her online, then you can take some time and discuss it with her in person. 

However, some people are just insane and you might have to lose a friend to save your own sanity.

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