Post # 1
I have two MOHs (one is my sister and one is my friend) and they are both kind of starting to wonder what each of their roles are. When I originally decided to ask them both to be MOHs, I recognized that they have very different personalities and thought they would each be better matched for certain "duties." For example, one is more outgoing and she will probably want to make a speech/toast at the reception, whereas the other would rather die. And one knows my fiance really well and has already been married, so she has been very supportive as far as relationship aspects go; the other is single and more focused on things like planning the bachelorette party (they both want to plan the bachelorette party).
However, they don’t know each other really at all (although we all live in the same area and they can easily meet) and I worry about whether they will get along with each other and whether they’ll be able to work together (one is a total diva and overbearing, and the other is, well, not).
Do you have any advice? I would like to send them an email this week to sort of address the uncertainty about their roles and help them to get to know one another. Should I suggest certain "duties" for each, or should I just let them work it out between them?
Also, regardless of how many Maid/Matron of Honor and BMS you had, how did you talk to them about Bridesmaid or Best Man duties/roles, and what was their reaction?
Thank you in advance for your help!
Post # 3
I would speak with both Maid/Matron of Honor seperately. Give them a chance to let you know what they expect and what they would like to do for you. Dont promise them anything. They sit with your SO or even by yourself decide what you need from your MOHs. Then why not meet with both them for brunch, bring your ideas incorporating their expectations and put together a game plan. This will help keep all of you on board.
My BMs are from all over so I brought them together in NYC to go dress shopping. Together we went to see my wedding dress (the sample) and then we went dress shopping. This allowed the girls to get to know each other and for me to express subtly what I needed from them. Afterwards I treated them all to lunch. It was really nice, and when they meet up again for the rehearsal they will already know each other.
Post # 4
Do you think they wouldn’t get along? I’m wondering if the one friend who’s married would be well suited for planning the shower, while the single friend would be better at planning the bach party. Maybe the outgoing one can give the speech, and the more introverted one can be the one next to you at the ceremony, fixing your dress etc.
Post # 5
I would suggest you all meet up for lunch or something to talk about the wedding. See what kinds of jobs they would for sure like to help you with instead of you just assuming they would want to do certain things. That way, it’s all laid out on the table, everyone is clear on who is doing what, then they can meet and you can see how it goes between them. Maybe they can at least exchange e-mails/phone numbers to e-mail and text each other about stuff. They won’t necessarily end up best friends, but hopefully they can peacefully work together. Good luck and let us know what you end up doing!