Divorce after 7 months- continued!

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 16
11351 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

View original reply
zenith :  

You have no idea WTF you’re talking about.  Laws in the US vary from state to state, county to county, and city to city.  Many states have passed special legislation regarding DV.

In some places, the police who respond to the DV call can issue a temporary restraining order at the time of the abuser’s arrest.

In case you didn’t read the OP’s first post, she has a lawyer who just might know a tad more about the law than you do.

Post # 17
1249 posts
Bumble bee

he spent the night in jail because he assaulted you. you didn’t randomly call the cops on him. you called the police, shaking and sobbing, because your husband picked you up, attempted to lock you in your bedroom, and failing that threw you to the kitchen floor all so he could read your phone. <- and this is the man who will be amicable while you divorce him? 

please listen to your lawyer. when dealing with a legal procedure like divorce emotions are not your friend. rational decisions need to be made. informed decisions. please get your information from an expert – like your lawyer – rather than the manipulative abuser you are escaping. 

no contact. 


Post # 18
6814 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

I stopped reading at the point where you said he took zero responsibility for his actions and said that you overreacted to his abusive behavior. Nope. He can have all the seats for that one.

Good for you getting a divorce. Definitely listen to your lawyer; they have more sense about how to navigate this process right now.

Stay safe.

Post # 19
636 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
zenith :  I love how you are (incorrectly) opining about ‘how things work in the USA’ as if they work the same way all over the entire country.

Spoiler alert: in loads of places in the US one can get a temporary restraining order lightning fast for dangerous situations exactly like this.

Stop talking about things about which you literally have no clue.

Post # 20
377 posts
Helper bee

Huge hugs Bee, do not feel guilty this was his doing. He’s a manipulative abuser and doesn’t deserve you!! Listen to your lawyer please, please, please!! Can guarantee he won’t be amicable during the divorce so prepare yourself for that. 

You have us lot to support you 🐝

Post # 21
6915 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

Listen to your lawyer and go no contract with your D H. His next steps are NOT your problem; they are a problem he has created for himself by being abusive. He has already taken so much from you and your family, and he will continue to do so if you let him. Please stay safe, and stay AWAY from your D H.

Post # 22
266 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2018

You DID NOT overreact, please get that out of your head, your husband physically assaulted you and you had every right to put him in jail. Divorce him and get the hell away from him, he is manipulative and dangerous.

Post # 23
1351 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

View original reply
zenith : Yeah, not true. To add some anecdotal evidence: When my ex-boyfriend was arrested for DV against me, the judge immediately and automatically instituted a no-contact order, without my input. I live in the US.

Post # 24
1866 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Bee please stop putting your trust in this man to treat you in a fair manner.  He has shown you repeatedly that not only will he NOT stand by you but he will bs you (read gaslight) until you shut up and accept his version.  He did this long before this incident and now that he has physically assaulted you, he’s still gaslighting you so that he can take advantage.  Don’t fall for his BS bee.

Listen to your lawyer bee!  At least he/she has your best interest in mind!

Post # 25
2082 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Just here for support bee. Please don’t blame yourself for his actions because you are in no way at fault. And please listen to your attorney as your attorney has a sound mind and lots of experience with these situations whereas you are acting in emotion which isn’t going to get you the best outcome. I truly wish you the best and hope everything goes well for you.

Post # 26
234 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2019


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